Gentlemen and Officers,
Tinkering with the script. I think I got the changes marked in Bold, but I am no expert in puter thingamy jigets. I hope this is the sort of input you were looking for, if not feel free to ignore it.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: HOIST THE COLOURS
FADE IN:
EXT. ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE - DAY
CAMERA PANS ALONG A BEAUTIFUL ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE FOLLOWING
THE ROAD TO LONDON.
MUSIC: Becketts theme, Harpsichord with many flourishes,
strings, and light brass accompaniment.
EXT. LONDON <b>Town where a carriage is rushing through the streets.</b>
<b>Carriage interior</b><b>The occupant is a naval officer in the uniform of the EITC holding a letter in his hand.</b>
EXT. WATER FRONT, EITC HQ - DAY
<b>The carriage arrives amid the bustle of the busy docks. Huge multi storey wharehouses sit back from the waterfront, porters scurry around pulling hand carts laden with goods. A dirty, noisy place with an unpleasant smell. </b>Music: Simple Harpsichord of Becketts theme.
<b>The door of the carriage is pulled open</b>
MERCER
Post Captain Nathaniel Edwards?
NATHANIEL
(STEPPING OUT OF
CARRIAGE <b>holding a handkerchief to his nose)
Yes, and you must be Mr. Mercer. My instructions said I would be met on arrival.</b>
<b>MERCER
Leather Sir!
NATHANIAL
What?
MERCER (looking at the handkerchief)
Leather, the smell. The tanners are bringing in a shipment of leather.
NATHANIAL
I can’t wait to get out to sea, away from this place.</b>
MERCER
(NOT THE SLIGHTEST
CHANGE IN
EXPRESSION)
Don't worry, you will be put to
work soon enough. Mr Beckett is a busy man, <b>we must hurry. Leave your chest there, I will have it collected.</b>
<b>NATHANIAL
Lead the way Mr Mercer</b>
2.
MERCER AND NATHANIEL WALK INTO BUILDING.
INT. BECKETTS OFFICE - DAY
GUARDS OPEN DOORS. MERCER AND NATHANIEL ENTER. NATHANIEL
POLITELY REMOVES HAT.
BECKETT
(SMILES)
Ah, Post Captain Edwards, I am
glad you made it safely.
BECKETT OFFERS GLASS OF BRANDY TO NATHANIEL. MERCER LEAVES
ROOM.
NATHANIEL
(POLITELY)
Thank you Sir.
NATHANIEL ACCEPTS BRANDY.
BECKETT
I had you brought here to discuss
your first assignment.
NATHANIEL
Yes Sir.
<b>BECKETT
I have a shipment, one of great importance that needs
to be collected.
NATHANIEL
Yes Sir. Which ship shall I be taking?
BECKETT
Ah!.. Not quite, that simple I’m afraid Capt Edwards.
Is It!
MERCER (OS)[/b]No Sir, I’m afraid not.</b>
NATHANIEL IS STARTLED BY MERCERS APPEARANCE.
<b>MERCER (walks into shot)
There is a troublesome issue that must be addressed.
A captain, who is repeatedly tardy with his shipments.
BECKETT
This is having a detrimental effect upon my business and you, Capt Edwards, are going to be part of the solution.
NATHANIEL (Nervously)
Of course Sir. How can I help?
BECKETT
I am entrusting you with ensuring that the next shipment proceeds on schedule.
You will accompany the Capt on his next voyage and if at any stage you are unhappy with progress, you Capt Edwards, are to take command.
NATHANIEL (Nervously)
Take over the ship Sir? How will the crew react to that?
BECKETT
That should not concern you Capt. Mr Mercer will be joining you on the ship he will assume responsibility for the…….. moral of the crew.
(Mercer has a lop sided grin on his face as he hands over a package)
BECKETT
(Smiles and turns his back on Edwards)
Your instructions Captain and the route. You are to be responsible for the navigation.</b>
Thank you Post Captain that will be all.
EDWARDS BOWS HIS HEAD, TURNS AND WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM.
<b>BECKETT (to no one, Mercer in background)
Where is that damnable man!</b>
<b>Mr Mercer go to the dock and make sure everything is ready for our guests arrival.</b>
EXT. WICKED WENCH SAILING ALONG THE ENGLISH COAST - DAY
YOU SEE A SILLHOUETTE OF A SHIP REMARKABLY SIMILAR TO THE
BLACK PEARL. THE CAMERA PANS ALONG THE SIDE OF THE SHIP <b>and up into the rigging where an EITC flag is flying.
SAILOR
(From up in the
yards)
Pilot ho!!
FIRSTMATE
Raise the signal to the pilot, half sheet if you would, drop some speed off her or this chap’ll have a hell of a job getting aboard. Can’t have a mess up like last time. I’ll inform the Capt.</b>
THE CAMERA PANS DOWN BEHIND THE SHIP WHERE THE WORDS "WICKED
WENCH" ARE. <b>The Capts back can be seen through the windows ,sat at his table, a neat pigtail and an immaculate uniform. A hat, bottle and a goblet sit in front of him. Camera moves into cabin behind Capts shoulder. Knock at the door, First mate enters
FIRSTMATE
Capt, Thames ho, High tide on the hour, Pilot has been summoned, half sheet set.
The Captain nods his head and waves to dismiss the intrusion, he empties the glass and rises slowly, picking up the hat and placing it on his head. He walks over to his locker and places the bottle and glass inside.</b>
THE WENCH CONTINUES UP THE THAMES. <b>with the Pilot at the helm. The Capt is seen standing
stiffly in the bow with his hands behind his back.</b>EXT. EITC WATERFRONT DOCKS - DAY
WENCH IS TIED UP AND GANGWAY IS LOWERED.
<b>Buckled shoe steps onto the gangplank, camera pans up the stocking leg and breaches to settle on the face of Jack Sparrow.
Jack sees Mercer waiting. He turns to the Firstmate.
JACK
Get this cargo off, Supplies for 30 days, fresh water and food.
Settle with the Pilot, …(quietly to firstmate) better still, get him to settle with his nibs, were only here on his calling and if he had not called, we would have no use for a pilot ergo no fee savvy.
FIRSTMATE
Aye Capt</b>
YOU SEE HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH A TIDY EITC UNIFORM ON.
AS HE STEPS OFF THE GANGPLANK MERCER STANDS WITH 10 EITC
GUARDS, BARRING HIS PATH.
4.
<b>JACK
Mr Mercer, always a pleasure to see a smiling face
MERCER</b>Curious, I was sure Mr Beckett
ordered the shipment to arrive 2
weeks ago, but you have only just
arrived. Why so late?
JACK
A man is never late Mr Mercer, <b>the winds and tides control our fate and I sadly, do not control them. </b>
MERCER
(Scoffs, His grim
expression never
changes)
JACK
(Smiling uneasily)
Actually I was stopped by
a...convoy of yours to...inspect
my ship.
MERCER
Were you now.
JACK
...Yep, that’s how it happened. It
was all a terrible misunderstanding.
<b>MERCER (Looking up at the mast head)
And why would en EITC convoy stop you? You were flying the flag as instructed, whilst on EITC business?</b><b>
JACK
The flag, no, I think it may have been stripped away in a storm. We replaced it as soon as we realised it was gone.</b>
<b>MERCER
Running private errands Mr Sparrow perhaps?</b>
Mr Beckett is growing impatient.
Your commission might hang in the
balance.
JACK
(Is visibly stung
by hearing the
comment)
My commission?
INT. BECKETTS OFFICE - DAY
Sparrow is escorted in by Mercer.
BECKETT
(Looking out a
window <b>with a cup and saucer in his hand)</b>Mr. Sparrow...
JACK
(Slightly Insulted)
Captain...Captain Sparrow.
<b>BECKETT
Captains of the EITC use the wind and tide to their advantage Mr Sparrow, they chart a course to gain the elements in their favour and speed their cargos to their destination, you it seems, find that ………difficult.
(Jack looks for Mercer who is nowhere to be seen)
It remains therefore, to be determined if you
are still able to rate the rank of Captain.
For now, I am just glad you were able to find your
way here.
(Mercer appears beside Jack)</b>
JACK (nodding to Mercer)
I had a little help.
BECKETT
Perhaps, that's all one needs; a
little help.
(Turning around to the window)
<b>So, I find yet another shipment is
late as are you.
JACK
Just a misunderstanding that’s all
BECKETT
A present….. to help you avoid anymore……. misunderstandings.
(Mercer hands Jack an EITC flag)
BECKETT (taking the cup from his mouth)
Do you like Tea Mr Sparrow?
(Jack pulls a face and wrinkles his lips)
JACK (looking at Beckett’s decanters)
Not especially, prefer the bottle stuff personally.
BECKETT (follows Jacks gaze to the decanters and moves toward the desk)
Tea is a very important commodity for the EITC, we rely on it arriving at set times in order for us to sell it. In selling it we make a profit, that profit helps pay for Captains to sail our ships to collect cargo for us.
A late cargo is bad for business and
seeing that you are never on time…..why should I still
employ you?</b>
JACK
(Astonished)
Because! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
BECKETT
(Quickly)
For the moment you are.
(Looking sternly
at Jack)
The Wench can sail with or without
you at the helm.
JACK
(Quick, and
desperate)
But I'm the only one who can coax
the speed out of her sails.
BECKETT
Oh, yes, how could I have forgotten.
I am becoming terrible at forgetting things.
But there is something that I have not forgotten.
JACK
(Obviously
uncomfortable)
What's that then, eh?
BECKETT
(Emphatically)
A mission for you, one
last chance to…………. redeem yourself as
it were.
JACK
(Smiles weakly)
BECKETT
Are you up to the task, captain?
(pauses for emphasis)
Or will you let me down again…. Mr.
Sparrow?
JACK
(The dropping of
his title at the
end of Beckett's
line is not lost in
him, he replies
quickly)
Always up to not letting you down….Sir
BECKETT(Begins pouring Brandy for Sparrow)
Good. Good.
Then I hope you will prove to me
that I entrusted this assignment
to the right man.
JACK (Feeling better about the situation)
Ah, proving oneself, is the act
of showing another that he can do
things right... ...with the proper compensation.
(Grabs a goblet containing Brandy)
In doing things right he therefore,
shows the other that he has in
fact been proven. Eh?
(Empties goblet)
<b>BECKETT (watching Jack drain the Brandy he steps forward and refills his goblet)
As long as you are not to busy with……. other trade?</b>
JACK
Were I in a busy mood, what then
might I busy myself with?
BECKETT
There is a shipment of great
importance to the East India
Trading Company, and me personally. <b>It will be a long voyage </b>but
I cannot discuss the contents, Mr Mercer and
another individual: Post Captain
Edwards will accompany you on this
endeavour to ensure its speedy
transport.
JACK
(Chokes on brandy
after hearing of
Mercers job)
Well, we...I. Thats perfect <b>I will
look forward to his accompanying</b>
<b>BECKETT
(Nods)
Something else….. Captain?</b>
JACK
(Slyly)
I am going to need ammunition for
my ship, and some extra comforts
to help the long voyage go easily,
savvy?
BECKETT
You will have the ammunition and
what ever else it is that
satisfies you. <b>Leave on the first tide in the morning.</b>
JACK
Perfect we will set sail as soon
as the rum is loaded…….
(Realizing his
mistake to say
rum, he quickly
replies)
…….along with the ammunition.
BECKETT
Good, Mercer and Edwards will be
with you shortly.
JACK
(Smiling
disarmingly)
Thank you kind sir.
(Sparrow walks out of the room. Mercer remained, unmoving.)
BECKETT
(Waiting for the
doors to close)
Mr. Mercer, you will ensure
that the cargo arrives INTACT
and on time, with or
without…..dissident crew members.
MERCER
Yes, sir.
And if Sparrow has a problem with
transporting the cargo?
BECKETT
(Sipping brandy
while looking out
the window at the
docks)
Use your imagination.
MERCER
(A slight smile on
his lips)
Yes, sir.
EXT. EITC WATERFRONT DOCKS - DAY
JACK WALKS PROUDLY ALONG THE DOCKS, EYING THE OCCASIONAL
WOMAN, WHEN HE SEES THE CARGO BEING LOADED ONTO THE WENCH, HE
ABRUPTLY STOPS.
JACK
(Flailing hands
all about while
running)
Oi! Oi! Hold on there gents! Wait!
JACK STOPS AT A CRATE BEING CARRIED BY TWO CREW MEMBERS.
JACK
Open the crate please, this is the
captains cargo inspection.
CREW DO AS BIDDEN. JACK GRABS A BOTTLE OUT OF THE CRATE.
JACK
(GULPING SOME OF THE RUM)
Very well done gents, carry on….. <b>carry on, the cargo won’t load itself.</b>
THE CREW MEMBERS LOOK STUPIDLY AT JACK FOR A COUPLE OF
SECONDS, SHRUG THEIR SHOULDERS, AND CARRY ON LOADING.
MERCER
(Startling Jack)
Mr. Sparrow, I would like to be
underway as soon as time permits.
JACK
(Arrogantly)
Ahem, my name is "Captain" Jack
Sparrow...savvy?
MERCER TURNS QUICKLY AND WALKS OFF DECK. JACK BOARDS THE
WENCH.
<b>NATHANIEL
(Warmly holding out his hand)
Post Captain Edwards at your service Captain, are all things
ship-shape? Is there anything I can do to help?</b>
<b>JACK (Turns to Nathaniel)
Are you now? Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain of the Wicked Wench</b>
(turns to FirstMate)
<b>Lets get her under way if you would be so kind, I will be in my cabin</b>
<b>FIRSTMATE
Yes Capt.
Hands to the lines! Prepare to Cast off,
man the Topsul. You know the drill.</b>
<b>NATHANIEL (to Firstmate)
Is he always like this
FIRSTMATE
Like what Sir?
NATHANIEL
In his cabin when you cast off!
FIRSTMATE
He hates the land Sir, he’ll be back when we are out of this god cursed river
NATHANIEL
I Know exactly how he feels. Looks like there is a lot of activity today.
FIRSTMATE
Word is there is a fleet heading for……(sees Mercer looking at him)………somewhere.
Scuse me Sir must get about my duties.
(leaves Nathaniel on the rail)
Tie that off square, get the last of that below.</b>
EXT. MAIN DECK, WICKED WENCH. (DUSK) - NIGHT
Sparrow stands at the wheel enjoying the breeze of the
evening.
JACK
Mr. Wilsson, I think we owe our
guests a good hearty,
strong...ummm...magnificent meal,
so...step to.
WILSSON
(Annoyed)
Yes, Captain.
SPARROW STANDS THERE TO WATCH THE FINAL RAYS OF SUNLIGHT
SLINK BENEATH THE HORIZON. HE TURNS WHEN A QUICK GREEN FLASH
LIGHTS THE AREA FOR JUST A SECOND. SPARROW TURNS QUICKLY,
BUT SEES NOTHING.
CAMERA PANS TO SHOW THE SHIP SAILING OFF INTO THE DARKNESS,
STERN LANTERNS ALIGHT.
WILSSON
(Poking head out
from door)
Captain, dinner is served.
JACK
Good, invite Mr. Edwards and his
villainous watchdog to dinner.
WILSSON NODS HEAD IN QUICK SALUTE, THEN SCURRIES OFF.
INT. WICKED WENCH, CAPTAINS CABIN - NIGHT
SPARROW AND RANKING OFFICERS ARE SEATED AT THE HEAD OF THE
TABLE AS MERCER AND EDWARDS ENTER.
JACK
Glad you all made it safely.
SHOWS EVERYONE EATING THROUGH THE STERN WINDOWS.
NATHANIEL
So, Captain Sparrow do you enjoy
your journeys?
JACK
Utter enjoyment mate.
(Clearly trying to
make sure Mercer
hears)
I always stick to my duties of the
EITC. There was never a deviation
from my orders at anytime in me
career.
MERCER
(Picks at food and
sets down fork,
looking at Jack)
Never a deviation from YOUR orders
maybe Mr. Sparrow, but orders
given by others.
JACK
(Squints his eyes
at Mercer)
I thought we were past all of this
mate.
MERCER
Past it?
(Swallows his rage
with a piece of
meat and glares
at Jack)
Maybe you are past it, but the
EITC has suffered loss from your
untimeliness
JACK
I am terribly sorry, if there are
any delays to be had on this
mission I shall inform you
immediately. On a higher note, why
are you on this mission Mr.
Mercer?
MERCER SUDDENLY BEGINS CHOKING. BEFORE ANYONE CAN REACT HE
POUNDS HIMSELF ON THE CHEST AND SPITS OUT A CHUNK OF MEAT.
THE OTHERS STARE AT HIM. MERCER SEEMS NOT TO NOTICE THEIR
ASTONISHED LOOKS.
JACK
(Staring at Mercer
in utter
disbelief)
Under orders not to choke?
MERCER
(Shakes his head
and looks down,
picking up fork
again)
Just remember the deadline this
time, that is of higher
importance.
JACK
(Still in a bit of
shock over what
he just
witnessed, he
smiles weakly at
Mercer)
See, there comes a moment when
things are of the importance, but
on the lower-side of said
importance, and a moment where
there is a loftier side of the
importance. I would probably rank
this importance at about
upper-lower side, or lower-lofty
side of importance, but seeing
that you think it is a bit
important i will rank it
mid-lower-lofty importance on my
absolutely...strung out chart of
importance.
STIFLED LAUGHTER CAN BE HEARD AMONGST THE OFFICERS.
MERCER
(Confused)
Mid-lower-lofty side?
JACK
(Quickly and
intelligently)
Or mid-upper-lower side if you
would. Possibly a tad lower than
the median of the mid-upper-lower
side, savvy?
ALL THE CREW, UNABLE TO CONTAIN THEMSELVES ANYMORE BREAK OUT
LAUGHING. EVEN EDWARDS LAUGHS. MERCER LOOKS AT HIS PLATE IN
SHAME AND ANGER.
MERCER
I don't think it is funny, Mr.
Sparrow.
(The Crew stops
laughing when
they see the cold
anger in the eyes
of Mercer)
Keep in your consideration why you
are on this trip, and what would
happen if you fail. Good evening,
gentlemen.
JACK
(Uneasy about
Mercers speech.
He looks up at
the officers.)
We should change the subject.
<b>Do any of you think he talks funny?</b>
EXT. QUARTER DECK OF THE WICKED WENCH - NIGHT
JACK LEANS ON THE RAILING LOOKING ACROSS THE MOONLIGHT
SPATTERED SEA. EDWARDS IS WORKING ON A POSITION FIX USING A
SEXTANT
JACK
So how do you like sailing at sea?
NATHANIEL
(Continuing with
his sextant)
Ah, the sea; always changing,
never contained.
JACK
That, my friend is the definition
of freedom. I am a man of the
sea...of freedom.
NATHANIEL
(Drops what he is
doing)
You seem to care much for your
freedom.
JACK
That I do.
NATHANIEL
(Earnestly)
This ship does not belong to
Beckett, does she? She's your own
ship, right? Then why are you not
off on your own?
JACK
You know, I have absolutely no
idea.
NATHANIEL
You long to be free, as do we all.
But we are all pawns in the
greater chess game.
JACK
Pawns? Trifles. I would be a
Knight in this chess game, because
Beckett doesn't understand how
much he will lose if he removes
me.
NATHANIEL
I'm afraid Lord Beckett knows
exactly what he will lose by
removing you...nothing. You are a
good man, Jack. Just a little
misguided.
JACK
Misguided? On this mission? More
like misinformed. I hardly know
what this is all about. <b> My orders are to take the ship to Gran Canaria, What then eh?</b>
<b>NATHANIEL
(Quietly)
At that point I take over the navigation. We will not be stopping at Gran Canaria. </b>
<b>JACK
Do you?...Won’t we?</b>
<b>NATHANIEL
Be careful Jack. I also have my orders. I have no interest in taking over the ship, as far as I am concerned you will be the Captain. But I must follow my orders.
There is more at stake than you realize. Mercer is here for a reason.</b>
JACK
Always a lack of information. Why?
MERCER
Lord Beckett knows the value of
information.
JACK
(Surprised)
<b>You shouldn't sneak around like that.</b>
MERCER
<b>I hear that often. </b>Usually it is
a persons last words. I
hope they won't be yours.
EXT. WICKED WENCH IN THE ATLANTIC - DAY
THE SHIP IS SAILING ALONG WHEN SMOKE IS SEEN IN THE
DISTANCE, AND A SHIP IS SEEN ANCHORED WITH A LARGE EITC FLAG
WAVING IN THE WIND. THE WENCH APPROACHES, AND MERCER MAKES
SURE JACK RUNS UP THE COLORS. A SMOKING WRECK OF A PIRATE
BRIG IS SLOWLY SINKING BENEATH THE WAVES. CREW FROM THE EITC
SHIP ARE ALL OUT IN THE WATER IN BOATS.
JACK
What in the devil happened here?
MERCER
Pirates. Scum. Good riddance,
all the better with less of them in this world.
JACK
(His eyes
transfixed on a
pirate flag
floating in the
water.)
Pirates? There's no proof of that.
MERCER
(Annoyed)
You're staring right at their
flag. Now run out the boats.
JACK
(Mutters)
I ought to gag you.
(Shouting)
Alright chaps, run out the little
dingies and assist our friends out
in their little dingies, savvy?
THE BOATS ARE LOWERED AND THE CREWS ROW OUT TO THE WRECK.
THEY SEARCH FOR A WHILE POKING BODIES WITH OARS TO SEE IF
ANY LIVE.
MERCER
(Shouting, Clearly
impatient)
I want every marine in a boat to
shoot every floating corpse to
make sure they're dead.
THE MARINES SHOOT THE BODIES, MOST ARE ALREADY DEAD, BUT
SOME START SCREAMING AND SWIMMING FRANTICALLY AWAY UPON
HEARING THE ORDER, THEY ARE CUT DOWN.
JACK
(Severe look of
stress on his
face. He
obviously feels
sorry for the
pirates.)
NATHANIEL
(ALSO AFFECTED BY
THE RUTHLESS
KILLING. HAS A
LOOK OF CONCERN
ON HIS FACE.)
Better to die by a bullet, then by
perishing at sea. Sharks, hunger,
thirst a painful death for them.
JACK
Yes, of course.
CAMERA PANS TO SUNSET.
FADE OUT.
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