Most of my time I spent on school and the modding for the Pirates of the Caribbean PC Game. I only have very little time to spend on the script.
So this is the dinner scene so far:<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->MERCER TURNS QUICKLY AND WALKS OFF DECK. JACK BOARDS THE
WENCH.
NATHANIEL
(Warmly)
Hello, Captain are all things
ship-shape?
JACK
(Watching the last
crate of rum
being loaded)
Yep, pretty much.
(Yells)
All hands! Raise anchor! Cast off
the lines. You know Oi! Oi! Oi!
and the lot.
Ship is set off to sea, Jack fails to notice a large number
of ships being readied for another mission of Becketts...
EXT. MAIN DECK, WICKED WENCH. (DUSK) - NIGHT
Sparrow stands at the wheel enjoying the breeze of the
evening.
JACK
Mr. Wilsson, I think we owe our
guests a good hearty,
strong...ummm...magnificent meal,
so...step to.
WILSSON
(Annoyed)
Yes, Captain.
JACK
(Bends over to
grab a piece of
paper stuffed in the rung of a
barrel)
Oh...
He picks it up reading intently, then suddenly laughs and
throws it overboard.
JACK
(muttering to
himself)
Hah, EITC soldiers on MY ship,
preposterous!
CAMERA PANS TO SHOW THE SHIP SAILING OFF INTO THE DARKNESS,
STERN LANTERNS ALIGHT.
WILSSON
(Poking head out
from door)
Captain, dinner is served.
JACK
Good, invite Mr. Edwards and
Mercer to dinner.
WILSSON NODS HEAD IN QUICK SALUTE, THEN SCURRIES OFF.
INT. WICKED WENCH, CAPTAINS CABIN - NIGHT
SPARROW AND RANKING OFFICERS ARE SEATED AT THE HEAD OF THE
TABLE AS MERCER AND EDWARDS ENTER.
JACK
Glad you all made it safely.
SHOWS EVERYONE EATING THROUGH THE STERN WINDOWS.
NATHANIEL
So, Captain Sparrow do you enjoy
your journeys?
JACK
Utter enjoyment mate.
(Clearly trying to
make sure Mercer
hears)
I always stick to my duties of the
EITC. There was never a deviation
from my orders at anytime in me
career.
MERCER
(Picks at his food and sets down his
fork, looking at Jack) Never a
deviation from your orders
maybe, Mr. Sparrow, but orders
given by others... (He lets the thought
trail off but the message is clear)
JACK
(Squints his eyes
at Mercer)
I thought we were past all of this
mate.
MERCER
Past it? (He swallows his rage along
with a piece of meat and glares at
Jack) Maybe you are
past it, but the EITC has
suffered loss from your
untimeliness.
JACK
I am terribly sorry, if there are
any delays to be had on this
mission I shall inform you
immediately.
MERCER
(Suddenly begins choking. Before
anyone can react he pounds himself
on the chest and spits out a chunk
of meat. The others stare at him.
Mercer seems not to notice their
astonished looks.)
JACK
(Staring at Mercer in disbelief)
Under orders not to choke?
MERCER
(Shakes his head and looks down,
picking up his fork again) Just
remember the deadline
this time. That's all.
JACK
(Still in a bit of shock over what he
just witnessed, he smiles weakly at
Mercer.) Of course, mate. (He
looks at the others.) On a higher
note, why are you on this mission
Mr. Mercer?
MERCER
Sir Beckett did say that this
mission was important did he not.
JACK
See, there comes a moment when
things are of the importance, but
on the lower-side of said
importance, and a moment where
there is a loftier side of the
importance. I would probably rank
this importance at about
upper-lower side, or lower-lofty
side of importance, but seeing
that you think it is a bit
important i will rank it
mid-lower-lofty importance on my
absolutely...strung out chart of
importance.
STIFLED LAUGHTER CAN BE HEARD AMONGST THE OFFICERS.
MERCER
(Confused)
Mid-lower-lofty side?
JACK
(Quickly and
intelligently)
Or mid-upper-lower side if you
would. Possibly a tad lower than
the median of the mid-upper-lower side, savvy?
ALL THE CREW, UNABLE TO CONTAIN THEMSELVES ANYMORE BREAK OUT
LAUGHING. EVEN EDWARDS LAUGHS, MERCER CHUCKLES A LITTLE.
FADE OUT.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
It seems pretty much OK to me for now. We can now try to focus on the next scene(s). There can be some every-day life, we can add Gunsmith's scene with Edwards and Jack talking about the sea at night. Other ideas are always welcome as well, of course.
I think one thing we do need to keep in mind: Scripts are always written in several drafts. What we're doing right now would be the first draft. Once it's finished, we would need to go through it all and see what points still need improvement. Very frequently a second or third draft would be quite different from the first one and, ultimately, better. Things that seem a good idea now might seem bad ideas later. Or things that seem like bad ideas now might make it into the final script anyway. So we don't really need to spend too much time on any one scene since we will be revisiting it at some point anyway. As long as we get that first draft done, we have a base on which to continue to improve. We might even ask for opinions of various people on our first draft; see what people like and don't like. Perhaps post it on some other PotC-related forums. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="
" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />
So this is the dinner scene so far:<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->MERCER TURNS QUICKLY AND WALKS OFF DECK. JACK BOARDS THE
WENCH.
NATHANIEL
(Warmly)
Hello, Captain are all things
ship-shape?
JACK
(Watching the last
crate of rum
being loaded)
Yep, pretty much.
(Yells)
All hands! Raise anchor! Cast off
the lines. You know Oi! Oi! Oi!
and the lot.
Ship is set off to sea, Jack fails to notice a large number
of ships being readied for another mission of Becketts...
EXT. MAIN DECK, WICKED WENCH. (DUSK) - NIGHT
Sparrow stands at the wheel enjoying the breeze of the
evening.
JACK
Mr. Wilsson, I think we owe our
guests a good hearty,
strong...ummm...magnificent meal,
so...step to.
WILSSON
(Annoyed)
Yes, Captain.
JACK
(Bends over to
grab a piece of
paper stuffed in the rung of a
barrel)
Oh...
He picks it up reading intently, then suddenly laughs and
throws it overboard.
JACK
(muttering to
himself)
Hah, EITC soldiers on MY ship,
preposterous!
CAMERA PANS TO SHOW THE SHIP SAILING OFF INTO THE DARKNESS,
STERN LANTERNS ALIGHT.
WILSSON
(Poking head out
from door)
Captain, dinner is served.
JACK
Good, invite Mr. Edwards and
Mercer to dinner.
WILSSON NODS HEAD IN QUICK SALUTE, THEN SCURRIES OFF.
INT. WICKED WENCH, CAPTAINS CABIN - NIGHT
SPARROW AND RANKING OFFICERS ARE SEATED AT THE HEAD OF THE
TABLE AS MERCER AND EDWARDS ENTER.
JACK
Glad you all made it safely.
SHOWS EVERYONE EATING THROUGH THE STERN WINDOWS.
NATHANIEL
So, Captain Sparrow do you enjoy
your journeys?
JACK
Utter enjoyment mate.
(Clearly trying to
make sure Mercer
hears)
I always stick to my duties of the
EITC. There was never a deviation
from my orders at anytime in me
career.
MERCER
(Picks at his food and sets down his
fork, looking at Jack) Never a
deviation from your orders
maybe, Mr. Sparrow, but orders
given by others... (He lets the thought
trail off but the message is clear)
JACK
(Squints his eyes
at Mercer)
I thought we were past all of this
mate.
MERCER
Past it? (He swallows his rage along
with a piece of meat and glares at
Jack) Maybe you are
past it, but the EITC has
suffered loss from your
untimeliness.
JACK
I am terribly sorry, if there are
any delays to be had on this
mission I shall inform you
immediately.
MERCER
(Suddenly begins choking. Before
anyone can react he pounds himself
on the chest and spits out a chunk
of meat. The others stare at him.
Mercer seems not to notice their
astonished looks.)
JACK
(Staring at Mercer in disbelief)
Under orders not to choke?
MERCER
(Shakes his head and looks down,
picking up his fork again) Just
remember the deadline
this time. That's all.
JACK
(Still in a bit of shock over what he
just witnessed, he smiles weakly at
Mercer.) Of course, mate. (He
looks at the others.) On a higher
note, why are you on this mission
Mr. Mercer?
MERCER
Sir Beckett did say that this
mission was important did he not.
JACK
See, there comes a moment when
things are of the importance, but
on the lower-side of said
importance, and a moment where
there is a loftier side of the
importance. I would probably rank
this importance at about
upper-lower side, or lower-lofty
side of importance, but seeing
that you think it is a bit
important i will rank it
mid-lower-lofty importance on my
absolutely...strung out chart of
importance.
STIFLED LAUGHTER CAN BE HEARD AMONGST THE OFFICERS.
MERCER
(Confused)
Mid-lower-lofty side?
JACK
(Quickly and
intelligently)
Or mid-upper-lower side if you
would. Possibly a tad lower than
the median of the mid-upper-lower side, savvy?
ALL THE CREW, UNABLE TO CONTAIN THEMSELVES ANYMORE BREAK OUT
LAUGHING. EVEN EDWARDS LAUGHS, MERCER CHUCKLES A LITTLE.
FADE OUT.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
It seems pretty much OK to me for now. We can now try to focus on the next scene(s). There can be some every-day life, we can add Gunsmith's scene with Edwards and Jack talking about the sea at night. Other ideas are always welcome as well, of course.
I think one thing we do need to keep in mind: Scripts are always written in several drafts. What we're doing right now would be the first draft. Once it's finished, we would need to go through it all and see what points still need improvement. Very frequently a second or third draft would be quite different from the first one and, ultimately, better. Things that seem a good idea now might seem bad ideas later. Or things that seem like bad ideas now might make it into the final script anyway. So we don't really need to spend too much time on any one scene since we will be revisiting it at some point anyway. As long as we get that first draft done, we have a base on which to continue to improve. We might even ask for opinions of various people on our first draft; see what people like and don't like. Perhaps post it on some other PotC-related forums. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="
" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />
" border="0" alt="me.gif" />
" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" />
