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Wacky News Stories

Good thing it didn't come out of the toilet. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" /> Maybe they could ship the snake to the ebay woman in Florida. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
Big love: World's heaviest man marries in Mexico
By MARK WALSH
Associated Press
Oct. 26, 2008, 9:53PM

MONTERREY, Mexico — The world's heaviest man has tied the knot.
Manuel Uribe, who hasn't left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend Claudia Solis Sunday in northern Mexico.
Wearing a white silk shirt with a sheet wrapped around his legs, Uribe smiled as Solis, 38, walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless ivory dress, a tiara and hot-pink lipstick.
He later broke into tears as a notary declared the couple husband and wife in a civil ceremony attended by more than 400 guests. For the traditional first dance as newlyweds, Uribe and Solis held hands and swayed to a romantic ballad.
The reception featured a banquet with meat, buttered vegetables and a five-tier wedding cake for dessert. A popular local norteno band played in the background.
The wedding, which was closed to most media, will be featured in an upcoming Discovery Channel documentary on Uribe, the 43-year-old former mechanic said.
"I have a wife and will form a new family and live a happy life," Uribe told hordes of reporters earlier as they followed him through the streets of Monterrey.
A flatbed truck was brought in to tow his custom-made bed decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows to the wedding at a local event hall. Two police patrol cars escorted him ahead of a long line of traffic.
Uribe tipped the scales in 2006 at 1,230 pounds (560 kilograms), earning him the Guinness Book of World Records' title for the world's heaviest man.
He has since shed about 550 pounds (250 kilograms) with the help of Solis, whom he met four years ago.
Uribe said he's gunning for a new title: world's largest weight loser. <img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/thbarfing.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
Bowler Dies After Rolling Perfect Game

(Oct. 31) - A Michigan bowler achieved his lifelong dream of rolling a perfect 300 game, then collapsed and died, a local television station reported Friday.
Don Doane, 62, suffered an apparent heart attack minutes after his great triumph at the Ravenna Bowl in Ravenna, Mich., WZZM reported. His teammates said they believed the pressure of bowling 12 straight strikes was just too much for his heart.

Just moments before, he had been high-fiving teammates.
"Don just collapsed," bowling alley owner Jim Nutt told the television station. "At first we thought he had just fainted."
Doane had been a member of the Nutt Farm bowling team at Ravenna Bowl for 45 years.
"It was like a book, a final chapter," teammate Todd Place told WZZM. "He threw his 300 game with his of his friends, gave each other high-fives and it's like the story ended. He died with a smile on his face."
2008 AOL LLC. All Rights Reserved.
2008-10-31 13:11:58
 
<!--quoteo(post=286510:date=Oct 27 2008, 11:02 PM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Old Salt @ Oct 27 2008, 11:02 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=286510"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Big love: World's heaviest man marries in Mexico
By MARK WALSH
Associated Press
Oct. 26, 2008, 9:53PM

MONTERREY, Mexico — The world's heaviest man has tied the knot.
Manuel Uribe, who hasn't left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend Claudia Solis Sunday in northern Mexico.
Wearing a white silk shirt with a sheet wrapped around his legs, Uribe smiled as Solis, 38, walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless ivory dress, a tiara and hot-pink lipstick.
He later broke into tears as a notary declared the couple husband and wife in a civil ceremony attended by more than 400 guests. For the traditional first dance as newlyweds, Uribe and Solis held hands and swayed to a romantic ballad.
The reception featured a banquet with meat, buttered vegetables and a five-tier wedding cake for dessert. A popular local norteno band played in the background.
The wedding, which was closed to most media, will be featured in an upcoming Discovery Channel documentary on Uribe, the 43-year-old former mechanic said.
"I have a wife and will form a new family and live a happy life," Uribe told hordes of reporters earlier as they followed him through the streets of Monterrey.
A flatbed truck was brought in to tow his custom-made bed decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows to the wedding at a local event hall. Two police patrol cars escorted him ahead of a long line of traffic.
Uribe tipped the scales in 2006 at 1,230 pounds (560 kilograms), earning him the Guinness Book of World Records' title for the world's heaviest man.
He has since shed about 550 pounds (250 kilograms) with the help of Solis, whom he met four years ago.
Uribe said he's gunning for a new title: world's largest weight loser. <img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/thbarfing.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Neat.  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
<b>Man Plummets 50 Feet to Grab Missing $20.</b>
Another Associated Press story says that Mark Giorgio of Florida was counting his money while on a walk across a bridge over the Manatee River when a $20 bill slipped out of his hands and went over the rail. To get his $20 back, Mr. Giorgio jumped over the rail, falling 50 feet into the river below. He then swam about 100 yards to retrieve the bill. Giorgio, who was pulled from the water by a Florida Fish and Wildlife Officer, was quoted as saying, “Twenty bucks is a lot of money when you’re broke.” On a side note, Mr. Giorgio declined treatment for cuts and bruises resulting from his fall.
 
OCTOBER SURPRISE: ALIEN ENDORSES MCCAIN!
Posted on Saturday, November 1st, 2008
By Reginald Cunningham III

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.
<img src="http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/alien_endorse_full.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
With major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker the Alien has changed his endorsement amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.
Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.
Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.
<img src="http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/hottub.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

At a recent McCain rally, inside sources say Cindy McCain disappeared with the Alien after sharing several champagnes with the notorious intergalactic lightweight. Ms. McCain’s alien-like good looks and natural blood temperature of 54 degrees Fahrenheit may have proved too much for him to resist as she reportedly put her cyborg husband into sleep mode and worked her charms.
This is not the first time the Alien, who sources say is no prude, has been in political “hot water.” During the 2004 election he was photographed in a hot tub with Laura Bush and Teresa Heinz Kerry. As the Alien is now married with children the release of these photos could be devastating for him.
What impact this news will have on the election has yet to be determined. Swing state voters, who will decide this election, have the highest rate of alien abductions and UFO sightings and are known to vote in accordance with supernatural forces.
 
Haven't seen that alien for a while. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
MICHELLE LOVES OBATMA
Posted on Friday, October 31st, 2008
By Allie Pruitt

KANSAS CITY, MO - At a Kansas City rally, Michelle Obama brought Obatma on stage and proudly accepted him into the Obama family!
<img src="http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/michelleobatma.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
During a Vote for Change rally, Michelle spoke about her passion for helping American families thrive. “Policies that support families aren’t political issues. They’re personal. They’re the causes I carry with me every single day.
“My own family must thrive as well. While I was hesitant in the beginning, I’ve decidedly to support my husband’s policies and feelings towards mutant-Americans, and embrace a new member of our family! Come on up, Obatma!”
The crowd jumped to their feet and cheered as Obama’s half-human half-bat half-brother, little Obatma, scurried up the stairs to embrace Michelle.
While incapable of human speech, he did shriek loudly into the mic, causing one of the speakers to blow out.
Political analysts believe Michelle’s show of tolerance and love will bring any undecided mutants and mutant-sympathizers to the Democratic side.
 
<b>Buddhist Monk Cuts Off Penis and Renounces Refix. </b> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:" border="0" alt="ohmy.gif" />
A Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_eek.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock:" border="0" alt="icon_eek.gif" />
According to the monk, he has renounced all earthly cares and does not want the penis reattached.
He did, however, allow medical personnel to clean up and dress the wound.
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<i>This.</i> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />


Woman Had Giant Hairball In Her Stomach
November 25, 2007
(CNN) — It may not be the most appetizing reading before a hearty holiday meal, but the New England Journal of Medicine is devoting part of its Thanksgiving issue to a giant hairball — and not the feline kind.

<img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/arthairballnejm.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
Doctors say this hairball removed from a woman’s stomach weighed 10 pounds.

The prestigious journal details the case of a previously healthy 18-year-old woman who consulted a team of gastrointestinal specialists.
She complained of a five-month history of pain and swelling in her abdomen, vomiting after eating and a 40-pound weight loss.
After a scan of the woman’s abdomen showed a large mass, doctors lowered a scope through her esophagus.
It revealed “a large bezoar occluding nearly the entire stomach,” wrote Drs. Ronald M. Levy and Srinadh Komanduri, gastroenterologists at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, Illinois.
For the uninitiated, a bezoar is a hairball.
“On questioning, the patient stated that she had had a habit of eating her hair for many years — a condition called trichophagia,” they wrote.
“It seemed like she’d been doing this for several years,” Levy told CNN.
The woman underwent surgery to remove the mass of black, curly hair, which weighed 10 pounds and measured 15 inches by 7 inches by 7 inches, the doctors said.
Five days later, she was eating normally and was sent home.

A year later, the pain and vomiting were gone, the patient had regained 20 pounds “and reports that she has stopped eating her hair.”
Reached at his home in Chicago, Levy said he had no idea whether the journal’s timing of the publication on Thanksgiving was intentional.
Either way, he said, it would not affect the gastroenterologists’ holiday dinner plans — “We don’t get fazed by much.”
 
<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><b>Man 'wants to marry' cartoon character</b>
Thursday, October 30, 2008
manga cartoon
A man has launched a campaign in Japan to legally allow comic book-loving humans to marry their favourite fictitious characters.

More than 1,000 people have signed Taichi Takashita's on-line petition to establish a law permitting marriage to comic characters, according to The Daily Telegraph.

Takashita says he feels more at ease in the "two-dimensional world."

He said: "I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world.

"However, that seems impossible with present-day technology. Therefore, at the very least, would it be possible to legally authorise marriage with a two-dimensional character?"

Comic books known as "manga", animated "anime" films and on-line virtual reality games have become increasingly popular in Japan, with fictitious characters frequently elevated to celebrity status.

Among the most high profile of manga fans is the current prime minister Taro Aso.

He recently complained he had not had time to read any comic books since taking office last month.

Takashita's petition was launched only days after a woman was jailed in Japan after "killing" her virtual husband after he suddenly divorced her as part of a popular interactive internet game.

One person who supported the petition, wrote: "For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love.

"Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost."<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Original story here :
<a href="http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Man_wants_to_marry_cartoon_character&in_article_id=380269&in_page_id=2" target="_blank">http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?...mp;in_page_id=2</a>
 
<b>Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom </b>

A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

Last Updated: 2:55PM GMT 31 Oct 2008

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table. He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield's Northern General Hospital, said: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed."

She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.

"It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening," she said.

"Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result."

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: "Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

"But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."
 
Talk about Divine Intervention! I guess somebody didn't like the curtains! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" />
 
<b>Ghost Car</b>

CHICAGO, Nov. 2 (UPI) -- Chicago police say they are investigating how a 1992 Chevrolet Lumina racked up nearly $4,000 in tickets in the year after it was presumed crushed. Cheryl Thomas said the police became involved after notices seeking payment for nearly $4,000 were mailed to her home in Alsip, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Sunday.

"The police told me the car was destroyed, but it's still moving around," said Thomas, whose son, Gene, owned the car until it was impounded last year and ordered crushed by police after he failed to pay $500 in storage and towing fees, the Sun-Times reported.

During the next 12 months, toll cameras photographed the car nearly 200 times as it breezed through tollbooths without paying a cent, the Sun-Times reported.

Untangling the car's recent history has been difficult with police reporting the car was crushed, not crushed, sold, then not sold, the Sun-Times reported, noting police say the car currently is undriveable and sitting in a city-owned lot, though police would not allow the Sun-Times to see the car.

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
i wonder what the police would have been thinking when they saw that. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> i would have enjoyed the confusion of my fellow policemen. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
Yep - especially since they don't have the car, like they claim. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
sounds like someone's having fun with a remote control kit. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
Toe-Sucking Burglar Strikes Again
November 8, 2005

GREENWOOD, Ind. -- Police say a man who previously handled the toes of a sleeping burglary victim reverted to his old ways Sunday night, allegedly sneaking into an Indiana apartment and stealing money before touching a slumbering resident's feet.

William Russell was arrested at a hotel not long after he allegedly entered a Greenwood apartment without invitation and stole $52 while its occupants were sleeping, police said. Police said that after Russell took the money, he entered a bedroom where a man and woman were asleep. Russell touched the man's feet, Greenwood police Detective Matt Fillenwarth said.

The man who was sleeping "woke up and felt someone rubbing his leg and fondling his toes, and finally ... he realized it was not his girlfriend," Fillenwarth said.

The man chased Russell outside and watched him drive away in a pickup truck, police said. Authorities tracked the truck to the hotel, where Russell was arrested.

Police said they know Russell as the "Toe Sucker" because he has a foot fetish. Fillenwarth said Russell once broke into a home and awoke a resident by sucking on her toes.

Russell has multiple convictions of residential entry and burglary. He was being held in the Johnson County Jail on Monday with bond set at $100,000.
 
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