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Pirates of the Caribbean: Community Prequel Script

What about a squarish rock that is named "Kings Chalet" ? Because it looks like a big house? Just an idea i am pitching around.



Clarify Old Salt. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />
 
<a href="http://forum.piratesahoy.net//index.php?s=&showtopic=10925&view=findpost&p=246359" target="_blank">This scene.</a>
 
Lol! Yep, but that line Mercer says must have "Mr. Sparrow" in the beginning. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />
 
Okay. I didn't want hiim to say "Mr. Sparrow" twice because I thought it would be repetitive. We can have him say it twice or remove it from the first line so it looks like this.

MERCER
(getting more angry)
I'd strongly advise you take corrective action.

JACK
Right. I'll get the rum.

MERCER
(Furious, draws his pistol)
Mr. Sparrow, would you like to be shot?
 
Well, this is just a rewrite I did. But here is the original scene and the altered scene:



<u><b>Original scene:</b></u>

MERCER
We should have seen land two days ago!

JACK
How did you figure that? Navigation is not an exact science. There's plenty of variables that can delay one. Wind, current, weather conditions, absence of rum.

MERCER
You better do something about that.

JACK
right, i'll get the rum.

MERCER
(draws his pistol)
Mr. Sparrow, would you like to be shot?

JACK
(smiles weakly)
I'd rather get the rum.
---------------------------------

<u><b>Altered scene:</b></u>

MERCER
(angry)
We should have come upon turtle rock a day or so ago. Are your charts correct?

JACK
Absolutely. Navigation is not an exact science. There's plenty of variables that can delay one. Wind, current, weather conditions, absence of rum.

MERCER
(getting more angry)
I'd strongly advise you take corrective action.

JACK
Right. I'll get the rum.

MERCER
(Furious, draws his pistol)
Mr. Sparrow, would you like to be shot?

JACK
(smiles weakly)
I'd rather get the rum.
 
I give it my stamp of approval. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> I like it. We have to make sure it flows well. Everyone look over the scene before, because i think that the transfer from the sunset of my destroyed pirate ship scene to this is a little abrupt if i say so myself, we might want to add some fluff to make it flow better.


<!--fonto:Courier New--><span style="font-family:Courier New"><!--/fonto--><!--coloro:#FF0000--><span style="color:#FF0000"><!--/coloro--><u><!--sizeo:6--><span style="font-size:24pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>APPROVED</b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></u><!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc-->
 
Oh, definitely Mercer. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" /> This was just a snippet really that we all agreed we wanted in the script but of course it needed to be worked on when Pieter pointed out that the "land ho" angle wouldn't work. If we can go ahead with this scene then we can work on what comes before and after. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="me.gif" />

BTW, what happened to your avatar?
 
Well, Mercer has been known to disappear before, I think he just disappeared from my avatar for a bit. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" />
 
How about placing the night conversation scene after the sinking pirate scene? Perhaps Edwards and Jack can discuss what just happened? Plus it occurs at night, so that would make sense after sunset. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />
 
So you mean just flip around the two scenes, Pieter? The night conversation scene your talking about is the conversation they have right before the ship sinking scene? Correct?



<!--quoteo(post=247408:date=Mar 27 2008, 12:17 PM:name=Mercer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Mercer @ Mar 27 2008, 12:17 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=247408"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Well, Mercer has been known to disappear before, I think he just disappeared from my avatar for a bit. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yup, ye gotta keep an eye on him. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=247449:date=Mar 27 2008, 06:16 PM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Old Salt @ Mar 27 2008, 06:16 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=247449"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->So you mean just flip around the two scenes, Pieter? The night conversation scene your talking about is the conversation they have right before the ship sinking scene? Correct?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->Exactly. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
I guess it does fit better. You have Mercer issuing a threat at the end of the choking scene directly before that. Then we segue into the sinking ship scene. Then we would have the night conversation scene, which would be taking place after sunset and thus would flow nicely like Pieter suggests.
We would have to add to the night conversation to reflect what just happened with the sinking pirate ship. And maybe we can bring Jack's transformation a bit further along and make that apparent with his dialogue with Edwards. If everyone agrees to this we can start adding on to this scene.
 
Also it might be interesting to have some more animosity between Edwards and Jack before that point as well. I said before that Edwards probably doesn't really like Jack from the start. But the sinking pirate ship might be the beginning of both Jack's transformation to full-blown pirate as well as an understanding and even eventual friendship between Edwards and Jack.
 
I believe that sinking ship (and Mercer's actions in ordering the shooting of the pirates in the ocean) is the beginning of Jack's pirating career, so to speak.
Why is Edwards first impressions of Jack negative? Does he think he's a flake? If this is the case we would have to sprinkle in some dialogue, as you seem to suggest, earlier in the script to show Edwards is not all that thrilled with Jack. That in turn would make his warming up to Jack later on all the more potent.
 
You might want to have a look at some of my earlier posts on Edwards' character based on, I think, Jacarutu's rewrite of the beginning of the script. I wrote up some ideas some months ago that involved Edwards being aristocracy and thinking pretty highly of himself and not so much of Jack at first. Might make Edwards' changes in the film more interesting. I also suggested shifting the focus of the film more to Edwards to make him more like one of the main characters and not a side character. Perhaps we might even go as far as having Edwards be the main character and JACK being a side character. Jack wasn't really THE main character of the other three films either; especially not the first.
 
That's interesting, more of a focus on Edwards. I know what you mean about Sparrow not being the focus of the original films (it was supposed to be Will Turner) but Johnny Depp just ran away with it and stole the films pretty much so now Jack is bigger than ever. That's what makes it hard if we not try to center it around Jack, he's larger than life and the audience would want to see his beginnings more than anyone else's.
Its not that I don't agree with where you would like to go, its just that's the reality we face. I'm afraid anyone we send this script too would want to see plenty of Jack. Perhaps we can bring up Edwards though to parity with him.

BTW, Pieter, I've searched through the beginnings of this thread but can't find those posts your talking about. I don't see them in the link list either. Could you link up some of them in your next post? I'd like to read them again.
 
Those posts are not in the beginning; they must be only a bunch of pages back. Around page 50 or so?
Edit: <a href="http://forum.piratesahoy.net//index.php?s=&showtopic=10925&view=findpost&p=225700" target="_blank">Here's</a> some of my posts on the subject.

I agree we do need plenty of Jack; I just meant that we should not provide "just Jack". In the first film, Will and Elizabeth, and partly also Barbossa, were as much main characters as Jack. If not moreso. I actually think that is a lot more interesting storywise. Explanaing Jack's past is pretty much straight-forward. Telling the story of Edwards, which just happens to also explain Jack's past, would be a lot more interesting. And a lot harder to write and still have the audience be interested. But I do think the audience wouldn't really buy a whole Jack-only film. They want more than that; the "Jack performance" is getting a bit old and we need to come up with something new. Of course "young-and-not-quite-so-crazy-Jack" is also nicely different, but we can do better than having just that as a gimmick. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink.gif" />
 
I agree. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" /> It would make for a more interesting script. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" /> Jack is kinda hard to put down but I do believe we can come up with a balanced script.

Thanks for the link. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="me.gif" />
 
So, we have them landing at whateveritsnameisagain... and Mercer orders Jack to capture the slaves because "They are the cargo," Sparrow hesitates, so Mercer orders Edwards to, who also hesitates, then Mercer orders it and they are rounded up. I do have a question though, if the crew are loyal to Jack why would they listen to Mercer? I think there should be a boat waiting there with EITC marines on it to aid Mercer. Thats my opinion. I dont remember if we ever settled that bit there... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad.gif" />
 
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