Pirates of the Caribbean: Community Prequel Script

[DAS123]

<!--quoteo(post=215534:date=Sep 26 2007, 02:48 PM:name=Pieter Boelen)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pieter Boelen @ Sep 26 2007, 02:48 PM) [snapback]215534[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->That they are. However, it seems to me that having the most massive major explosion-filled and action-packed sea battle in the first film of a series isn't really very well-balanced. Personally I would suggest not showing too much of the battle between the other ships if we <i>are</i> going to have a big battle. So we focus on the Black Pearl getting away and just have the big bad massive battle play out in the background without focusing on it all that much. That way we still have a big battle, but don't show too much of it. That way when the REAL big bad battle comes along in the AWE sequel, it will have a big impact still.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
First of all that explosion filled idea was a joke, second of all the battle in AWE IS NOT big in the way i am thinking. What happened to that fleet of over 300 ships? Oh...right...they just packed up and went away. It was not a big battle in terms of numbers which i want. Once again, it was 1-3 ships involved in a battle, and I am personally sick of it. Now, i am not saying that the Maelstrom battle was bad, it was AWESOME, but it is not what i am looking for here. Why doesnt anyone here want a big SUSTAINED sea battle? WHy? Please someone tell me, i am all ears. This is the kind of stuff that disappoints people. There are VERY FEW movies out there with sustained sea battles, and even FEWER in this genre. I dont like that idea of showing 2 minutes of seabattle, and showing the rest from afar, that is retarded. If i would put something in is that it should be 8-10 minutes of seabattle, and then the rest is shown from afar.

Either way the Pearl CANNOT avoid a pitched sea battle, and with the arrival of a VOC fleet, that only underlines the need for a longer sea battle sequence. Jack is not welcome in EITC OR VOC cities Jack now has another wave of ships to escape. Pieter, having a big sea battle here will not take the impact of the battle from the AWE sequel. Also this battle has a different meaning. I just dont want a tiny sea battle. Sorry for any harsh words i have said above, but i am sick of these CRAPPY 1-3 ship battles, or huge fleets engaging HUGE fleets, but there is like 2 minutes of the battle. Now for the AWE sequel we could have a different context as to why the sea battle happened. In the prequel it is happening not by Sparrows intention, maybe in the sequel it is occuring for a purpose to actually win something. Sorry if i am sending a scattered message.

Again, sorry if anyone takes offense to anything i have said, but i am just saying something that has been bouncing around in my head for a i bit, and now i feel relieved. Sorry! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" />

 

[DAS123]

<!--quoteo(post=215534:date=Sep 26 2007, 02:48 PM:name=Pieter Boelen)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pieter Boelen @ Sep 26 2007, 02:48 PM) [snapback]215534[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I also had this thought that after Edwards' change of heart, he will not last for very long. He raises the Jolly Roger and almost immediately gets a lot of cannon fire directed his way. He will not last long in this cannon bombardment. Perhaps if we would want to add a truly dramatic scene here, we could have the Phalanx be blown to bits by a cannon ball fired from the Black Pearl. It would be truly nasty if Jack, being angry with Edwards for what he had done, would order a volley on the Phalanx and this volley would set fire to the powder magazine and blow up the ship. But not before Jack sees Edwards at the stern raising the pirate flag. That would possibly be the most nasty thing we could come up with. We might not actually WANT to go THAT nasty though. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/whistling.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="whistling.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah...thats a little dark for our good old Captain Jack.

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->No, I indeed wouldn't like that. We don't want to overdo it all. The prequel should feel the most normal and least over-the-top of all the films. AWE is REALLY over-the-top and most definitely not normal. Then we can show another no-holds-barred sea battle in the AWE sequel as well, though there we should go for over-the-top realism, rather than over-the-top fantasy as in AWE.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Agreed, dont over do it!

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->That's an... interesting way to end a post... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wacko:" border="0" alt="wacko.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I thought someone would say something, but its what the president always says, and the Vive la POTC is my little creation. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->BTW: Why do you keep referring to "fantasy elements" as "CGI"? I am pretty sure that the big massive sea battle you would like would require just as much, if not more, CGI as all the skeletons in the first film combined.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Sorry, when i mean CGI i mean like characters in suits, and when i say VISUAL EFFECTS i mean like battles, sorry for the wierd way i put it, its just easier for me.


<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Mindless explosions: The one thing we really DON'T want to do. There is dozens of films depending solely on explosions. I would love for the prequel to be a film that would be impressive because of its story, its character development and its beautiful locations rather than depending for a large part on action, special effects and explosions. Of course the action, special effects and exlosions should most assuredly be a part of the film, but I don't think it should be what we focus on. Rather than making a special effects film that happens to also have a story, I would prefer the movie to be a good story that only uses the special effects and action scenes to advance the story. If a scene, as cool as it might be, does not advance the story and is just there for coolness' sake, it should be cut. The coolest scenes are those where the special effects help the story, rather than take over from the story.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
A pirates of the caribbean version of Pride and Prejudice.

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Not really. It has been established that the Pearl is the fastest ship in the Caribbean, so the Pearl could, in theory, get away by depending on her speed, rather than on a lot of firepower. Also: The whole massive battle is meant to show to Beckett how powerful the Dutchman is. That is the story purpose of the battle. Nothing more and nothing less. So how big should we make the battle and how much should we show for Beckett to see the power of the Dutchman and for the audience to understand that this is what put Beckett onto searching for Davy's heart? As far as story purpose goes, we don't even need to show ANYTHING of the battle. In theory we could have Beckett discuss the battle with Mercer afterwards. Of course for the sake of giving the audience a bit of spectacle, we wouldn't be able to get around of showing <i>some</i> of it, but for the sake of the story <i>showing</i> the battle is not that important.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Actually if the VOC also comes along to engage Beckett, and Sparrow is not off to good terms with them either he now has another wave to fight.

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Something we should also consider: Is there another way that we can get Beckett to see the power of the Dutchman? If we are to come up with the best story possible, we must consider all possible ways of getting the message accross. The big battle is one way, but I am sure one could think of many more ways. We shouldn't be too locked up on the battle idea, because that way we might ignore the possibilities of a better idea.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, yeah, nah, nah. Until i hear another way to put the seabattle in the movie, it IS the ONLY way to do it. Again I LOVE VISUAL EFFECTS, but i also understand it gets boring after a while. But nonetheless, it must be done. I dont see how you <i>wouldnt</i> want a big sea battle.

 

[Commodore John Paul Jones]

I am going to try and voice the ones who are opposed to the massive battle here: The reason why a medium sized 12 v 12 v 2 ship battle between squadrons is best is because if we want to make the AWE sequel the biggest and most exciting, then it has to be the biggest battle of them all... which is why we don't want to do that here. 24 ships is already a lot of vessels in one battle, heck any battle that had over 16 total was something to be noticed. What we need to establish in this battle is the <i>Dutchman's</i> power (which can easily be seen if it can take on the 24 ships in the EIC and VOC squadrons... not fleets, squadrons.) and the <i>Black Pearl's</i> speed/maneuveribility. The smaller battles were all about smaller faster ships outmaneuvering one another, not lining up and duking it out.

Don't worry Mercer, you will get a big sea battle, but perhaps is isn't meant to be in the movie that starts the whole saga. Patience, the best things come with time and effort. If we rush things and jam it in the prequel, people will like it, but not love it. (They might not like it, they may just accept it because AWE has dulled the awesomeness of it. But if we wait and let it die down, then bring it back even bigger in the sequel, it will revive itself.)

 

[DAS123]

<!--quoteo(post=215545:date=Sep 26 2007, 04:44 PM:name=Commodore John Paul Jones)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Commodore John Paul Jones @ Sep 26 2007, 04:44 PM) [snapback]215545[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I am going to try and voice the ones who are opposed to the massive battle here: The reason why a medium sized 12 v 12 v 2 ship battle between squadrons is best is because if we want to make the AWE sequel the biggest and most exciting, then it has to be the biggest battle of them all... which is why we don't want to do that here. 24 ships is already a lot of vessels in one battle, heck any battle that had over 16 total was something to be noticed. What we need to establish in this battle is the <i>Dutchman's</i> power (which can easily be seen if it can take on the 24 ships in the EIC and VOC squadrons... not fleets, squadrons.) and the <i>Black Pearl's</i> speed/maneuveribility. The smaller battles were all about smaller faster ships outmaneuvering one another, not lining up and duking it out.

Don't worry Mercer, you will get a big sea battle, but perhaps is isn't meant to be in the movie that starts the whole saga. Patience, the best things come with time and effort. If we rush things and jam it in the prequel, people will like it, but not love it. (They might not like it, they may just accept it because AWE has dulled the awesomeness of it. But if we wait and let it die down, then bring it back even bigger in the sequel, it will revive itself.)<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
True, but i want to see the Flying Dutchman in her greatest glory. She is probably my favorite ship in the whole series, the Black Pearl is a nanometer away. I agree, but again, i think the Dutchman, even more so since she wont be covered in seaweed, will be a grand spectacle in battle.

Okay, we should make the EITC squadron about 15 large ships, 8 74's, 3 104+ gunned ships, and 3 heavy frigates. The VOC fleet however will be made up mostly by smaller ships, so they should come in larger numbers inorder to compensate for their small sizes. Their fleets might be made up of fluyts, and converted large merchant ships. (See the Prins Willem for info on the converted merchant ships). I will work on this idea, but still i stand behind my statement to have a 8-10 minute sea battle at the LEAST. Good idea though. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="me.gif" />

 

[Commodore John Paul Jones]

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->True, but I want to see the <i>Flying Dutchman</i> in her greatest glory. She is probably my favorite ship in the whole series, the <i>Black Pearl</i> is a nanometer away.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ah, but we're not making this movie to supply our wants, we're making this movie to entertain the world and possibly save Disney from making a mistake. Not everyone loves the <i>Flying Dutchman</i> as you may, and I personally drool over the <i>Endeavor</i>... but I have restrained myself from severely pressing that the <i>Endeavor</i> should fight a dozen ships and completely decimate them, showing how unparalleled in dominance and superiority she is.
Not everything goes the way we want it to. The <i>Interceptor</i> was blown clean out of the water to my dismay, as well as the <i>Endeavor</i>. I would have written it so that Norrington lived and was more of a third hero behind Sparrow and Turner, but I accepted his place and let it go. As stated before, it is a balancing act, and we cannot go and tailor a movie to bring the <i>Flying Dutchman</i> to glory greater than the <i>Black Pearl</i>. She has the "lead role" when it comes to the ships, so it should be the one people like the most. Hence her dramatic demise in DMC, better than simply blowing up. That's why when we lose her in this prequel to Beckett's doing, we feel the pain that Sparrow does... we've become connected to the ship.

I don't know about the rest of the team here, but I am not writing this to favor my personal wants. I am doing this because I believe that together we can create something great, because it is a great opportunity to be a participant in the creation of the next Pirates film, and to possibly inspire dreams and ideas in both the team here and the team at Disney.

For the Glorious Cause!

 

[DAS123]

<!--quoteo(post=215552:date=Sep 26 2007, 07:57 PM:name=Commodore John Paul Jones)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Commodore John Paul Jones @ Sep 26 2007, 07:57 PM) [snapback]215552[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Ah, but we're not making this movie to supply our wants, we're making this movie to entertain the world and possibly save Disney from making a mistake. Not everyone loves the <i>Flying Dutchman</i> as you may, and I personally drool over the <i>Endeavor</i>... but I have restrained myself from severely pressing that the <i>Endeavor</i> should fight a dozen ships and completely decimate them, showing how unparalleled in dominance and superiority she is.
Not everything goes the way we want it to. The <i>Interceptor</i> was blown clean out of the water to my dismay, as well as the <i>Endeavor</i>. I would have written it so that Norrington lived and was more of a third hero behind Sparrow and Turner, but I accepted his place and let it go. As stated before, it is a balancing act, and we cannot go and tailor a movie to bring the <i>Flying Dutchman</i> to glory greater than the <i>Black Pearl</i>. She has the "lead role" when it comes to the ships, so it should be the one people like the most. Hence her dramatic demise in DMC, better than simply blowing up. That's why when we lose her in this prequel to Beckett's doing, we feel the pain that Sparrow does... we've become connected to the ship.

I don't know about the rest of the team here, but I am not writing this to favor my personal wants. I am doing this because I believe that together we can create something great, because it is a great opportunity to be a participant in the creation of the next Pirates film, and to possibly inspire dreams and ideas in both the team here and the team at Disney.

For the Glorious Cause!<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I too agree that we all can create something great if we work together. I was saying i wanted it just so you see where i stand. During the battle the Black Pearl was just raised and re-cristened as that, so yes the movie should be about the Pearl, but at the moment she is not the most feared pirate ship around, the Dutchman, however, has been around for quite a bit and has gained notoriety. Also, i do like the Endevour, it is such a nice ship with its large sails, on tall masts. Very nice ship, she too is one of my favorites. Though the Dutchman has to take the lead. It might be more of a shock in DMC to see the Dutchman rip through the waters and see it covered in sea weed, and the crowd is like "Woah, something is up here," As you saw i tried to get better parts for the Endevour to play, in addition to the dutchman (nice version). I know we cannot just go off of our wants and hopes, but a cause is never lost if there is still one fool left to fight for it. I will fight to get the Endevour and the Dutchman greater parts in here. Wouldnt you think it to be a shock in DMC when we saw Jones being friendly all through the prequel and his beautiful ship sailing the seas, then in DMC we see his decrepid ship, and transformed crew, i dont know about you guys, but i would be like WTF!? I figured Commodore that you would really like the Endevour, i dont know what you thought i would like, or if you were shocked i am somewhat obsessed with the Flying Dutchman. But, hey, everyone has an obsession with something.

Have a Great night everyone! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

 

[Old Salt]

<!--quoteo(post=215534:date=Sep 26 2007, 03:48 PM:name=Pieter Boelen)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pieter Boelen @ Sep 26 2007, 03:48 PM) [snapback]215534[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Not really. It has been established that the Pearl is the fastest ship in the Caribbean, so the Pearl could, in theory, get away by depending on her speed, rather than on a lot of firepower. Also: The whole massive battle is meant to show to Beckett how powerful the Dutchman is. That is the story purpose of the battle. Nothing more and nothing less. So how big should we make the battle and how much should we show for Beckett to see the power of the Dutchman and for the audience to understand that this is what put Beckett onto searching for Davy's heart? As far as story purpose goes, we don't even need to show ANYTHING of the battle. In theory we could have Beckett discuss the battle with Mercer afterwards. Of course for the sake of giving the audience a bit of spectacle, we wouldn't be able to get around of showing <i>some</i> of it, but for the sake of the story <i>showing</i> the battle is not that important.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I do think we need a battle there. Having the Pearle just shoot past a fleet of ships because of her speed would be a bit of a let down. We may be tripping ourselves up by being to careful here. A great script cannot be a great script if we are afraid to make it one because of a fear of upstaging another movie.
This need not be a colossal mega battle, but a battle it should be. We have added to many elements to the scene for it not to be. Edwards switching sides and being fired upon. Jack making his escape. The Dutchman impressing on Beckett her awesome power. This could be done so as not to upstage the sequel. Short and furious. The camera staying with the Pearle as she breaks out, with Edwards sinking in her wake and the battle playing out behind her. The Dutchman blasting through Beckett's fleet and Beckett in shock. The battle would not be the focus of the movie, just a part of it.

<!--quoteo(post=215534:date=Sep 26 2007, 03:48 PM:name=Pieter Boelen)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pieter Boelen @ Sep 26 2007, 03:48 PM) [snapback]215534[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Actually I think the Star Wars prequels pretty much upstaged the original trilogy as far as action and special effects are concerned. But are the prequel films better films for it? Personally I do like the prequel films, but I like the original trilogy better because it felt to me as if the action in the original trilogy was a way to further the story forward, while in the prequel films a lot of action was just there fore coolness' sake. I think the Star Wars prequels show many of the traps that we should try to avoid.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
The upstaging as far as the special effects could not be avoided. There has been just to much of a leap in special effects since the late 70s/early 80s and today. And I like the original trilogy better also. The first two films of the new trilogy were pretty weak, and Revenge of the Sith probably still wasn't as good as Return of the Jedi, the weakest of the original three.
But there may be a lesson there for us as well in that Lucas was trying hard not to upstage the original three and he wound up with the first two new movies being pretty bland. When I saw them in the theaters, the only time any electricity went through the audience was when the light sabers came out. That might be pretty simplistic for some people's tastes, but unfortunately it is a fact. We don't want to write a movie that will be quickly forgotten. Idealism aside, a little action is needed. I believe we can marry the two and make a superb prequel that isn't just filler till the real action starts in the other movies.


All the debating back and forth we are having now may prove to be academic anyway though, since we are discussing one of the last scenes in the movie when we are pretty much still in the beginning of our script. It may be that by the time we advance our writing up to this particular scene, we may all be in agreement as to how this scene will play out and what form it will take.

 

[Pieter Boelen]

Very true. The way the story plays out before the battle could very much suggest how the battle itself should play out. I think we all agree that there should indeed be a battle, so that much is agreed upon. The size of the battle is a bit of a point of discussion. Personally I do very much want a huge awesome battle involving many ships in one of the next PotC films. I think everyone here agrees on that as well. The only question is: In which film should this battle play out? Personally I think the AWE sequel is THE place to put the largest amazing battle in a PotC film ever. As much as I would like a huge battle, I just don't think the prequel is the right place to put a no-holds-barred battle. If we can also agree on that, then we have already decided that:
1) There should be a battle in the prequel
2) We should not make it too big (for fear of upstaging the other films)
3) We should not make it too small (for fear of having a boring battle)

If we can agree on that, we can discuss the specifics when we have finished the part of the story leading up to the battle, can't we?

 

[DAS123]

Aye, I'll amount to that. In the mean time, Pieter will you mind if i use your script with the scenes as a guideline to modify and add to it?

 

[Pieter Boelen]

Of course you can. What do you think I wrote it for? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />

 

[Old Salt]

<!--quoteo(post=215604:date=Sep 27 2007, 03:10 PM:name=Pieter Boelen)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pieter Boelen @ Sep 27 2007, 03:10 PM) [snapback]215604[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Very true. The way the story plays out before the battle could very much suggest how the battle itself should play out. I think we all agree that there should indeed be a battle, so that much is agreed upon. The size of the battle is a bit of a point of discussion. Personally I do very much want a huge awesome battle involving many ships in one of the next PotC films. I think everyone here agrees on that as well. The only question is: In which film should this battle play out? Personally I think the AWE sequel is THE place to put the largest amazing battle in a PotC film ever. As much as I would like a huge battle, I just don't think the prequel is the right place to put a no-holds-barred battle. If we can also agree on that, then we have already decided that:
1) There should be a battle in the prequel
2) We should not make it too big (for fear of upstaging the other films)
3) We should not make it too small (for fear of having a boring battle)

If we can agree on that, we can discuss the specifics when we have finished the part of the story leading up to the battle, can't we?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Sure thing, Pieter. I don't think any of us here were naive enough to believe we could collaborate on a script and not have some disagreements. Everyone at different times during this process will feel strongly about one thing or another, its the compromises that are reached that will make the final draft stronger when all is said and done. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="me.gif" />

 

[Old Salt]

<!--quoteo(post=215455:date=Sep 25 2007, 09:10 PM:name=Mercer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mercer @ Sep 25 2007, 09:10 PM) [snapback]215455[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Come to think of it, it might be funny to have Sparrow meet George Washington, and do all of his funny antics to somehow help Washington in the end to win something. But, back to the current script.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yes, we should focus on the current script. As an aside though, I think that would be absolutely hysterical, Mercer. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

 

[DAS123]

Here's part of my outline:

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow Script Outline

SCENE 1
Movie starts. The screen is black, all you hear are two drums boom, boom every once and a while. You see an EITC flag waving on a dark day. The camera zooms quickly out and you see a large fleet. A little girl starts singing:

To the mast nail our flag it is dark as the grave,
Or the death which it bears while it sweeps o’er the wave;
Let our deck clear for action, our guns prepared;
Be the boarding-axe sharpened, or the scimitar bared;
Set the canisters ready, and then bring to me,
For the last of my duties, the powder-room key.

It shall never be lowered, the black flag we bear;
If the sea denied us, we sweep through the air.
Unshared have we left our last victory’s prey;
It is mine to divide it, and yours to obey.

I fight, ‘tis for vengeance! I love to see flow,
At the stroke of my saber the life of my foe.
I strike for the memory of long-vanished years;
I only shed blood where another shed tears,
I come, as the lightning comes red from above,
O’er the race that I loathe, to the battle I love.

. (Possibly little Elizabeth’s voice like in COTBP. As the first verse is sung you see pirate flags being raised. Then on the third, the guns are being run out on both fleets. On the first sentence of the second verse you see the ships open fire. Crew are being blown into the air, and into the water. Splinters are flying everywhere; you catch a quick glimpse of the name of one of the ships: Endeavor. On the second sentence of the second verse the pirate are swinging onto some of the EITC ships. At the beginning of the third verse all is going wrong for the pirates. You see Mercer locked in heavy combat, with Beckett not far behind. And on the final line the EITC ships are sailing away, and the pirate ships are left burning, and sinking. (You know that during all of this there is not sound of battle, just the girl singing. And when the new scenes of battle unfold the screen goes quickly black, then goes the next portion of battle as the girl starts the next verse. With the strike of a drum, the screen goes black.

SCENE 2
- The camera now sees a beautiful English shire. It quickly soars through the air, and follows the road to London.
- You see a fancy building. A man in an important looking uniform walks towards the steps. His carriage starts off again. Mercer walks out, and directs him into the building always keeping his usual grim look.
- The man is Edwards (sorry, I forgot his first name). Beckett and he exchange a bit, and in the end he is ordered to await the Wicked Wench down at the docks. Mercer and him start off.

SCENE 3

- You see a ship sailing towards the cliffs of Dover. That rat- tat- tat beat starts playing, the camera follows to the bowsprit and you see SPARROW!! (Just his face) That song plays when he is introduced into the movie. Then it stops with a snare drum roll as the camera sees the EITC flag at the stern.
- It sails up the Thames. Mercer and Edwards watch in their spyglasses. Mercer and him lower theirs. Mercer to Edwards “there is your first assignment”.
- Sparrow is greeted by Mercer and Edwards, and “escorted” to Becketts office.
- Exchange between Sparrow and Beckett.
-

 

[Commodore John Paul Jones]

So my piece is not being translated? I thought we had decided it was to be translated into script format... thought we were past scene one and moving onto scene two.

 

[Old Salt]

Mercer, in your original draft on the first page of the thread you really caught Sparrow's speech pattern and word usage. Almost like you could hear Johnny Depp speaking those lines. Its very important that Sparrow's vocabulary remain intact so he sounds like Jack Sparrow. Even if different portions of the script are changed or thrown out all together we should incorporate Sparrow's lines from that draft.

And it sounds like you are following Pieter's Temporary Draft with the draft you just posted. Am I correct?

 

[DAS123]

<!--quoteo(post=215781:date=Sep 28 2007, 07:22 PM:name=Commodore John Paul Jones)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Commodore John Paul Jones @ Sep 28 2007, 07:22 PM) [snapback]215781[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->So my piece is not being translated? I thought we had decided it was to be translated into script format... thought we were past scene one and moving onto scene two.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Commodore, this is an OUTLINE. I am just putting something out there to see if any ideas flare. Dont be offended. Again, i just thought of this and put it out there. I still use the english country setting. Is that okay? I am sorry if it offended you REALLY SORRY! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/par-ty.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="par-ty.gif" />

 

[DAS123]

<!--quoteo(post=215793:date=Sep 28 2007, 09:00 PM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Old Salt @ Sep 28 2007, 09:00 PM) [snapback]215793[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Mercer, in your original draft on the first page of the thread you really caught Sparrow's speech pattern and word usage. Almost like you could hear Johnny Depp speaking those lines. Its very important that Sparrow's vocabulary remain intact so he sounds like Jack Sparrow. Even if different portions of the script are changed or thrown out all together we should incorporate Sparrow's lines from that draft.

And it sounds like you are following Pieter's Temporary Draft with the draft you just posted. Am I correct?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I expanded on it a little. I didnt really contribute to the beginning, and i just thought i would give it some thought and post on it. I didnt know we were all in agreement.

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ib012.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cry" border="0" alt="ib012.gif" /> Are you guys mad at me? I am getting that feeling. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />

 

[Old Salt]

<!--quoteo(post=215796:date=Sep 28 2007, 10:10 PM:name=Mercer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mercer @ Sep 28 2007, 10:10 PM) [snapback]215796[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I expanded on it a little. Are you guys mad at me? I am getting that feeling.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Of course not. Just curious. Actually, I do like that mix of poetry and action. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="me.gif" />

 

[DAS123]

Yeah, the little girl singing it, and there is no sound of battle. I actually was going to use Rule Britannia, but when i heard how it was sung, i nearly blew me eardrums out! It will just be a battle to signify that Beckett is after pirates. Also i need something to put in the beginning, and then after it happens it says: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow. (Thats not the official name, but i just needed a filler). Kind of like in AWE with the hangings at the beginning, then it says Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and the piece of eight drops on the ground. Then the english countryside will pick up, and it will be all pleasant.

 

[Pieter Boelen]

CotBP and DMC both did not start with a scene before the film's title. Only AWE does that. So we don't NEED to put a scene before the title. Do we realy need to start the movie by showing Beckett is after pirates? Beckett is the head of the EITC. Of COURSE he wants to get rid of them pirates. There are dozens of more simple ways of making that clear throughout the course of the film. The scene you describe would cost a lot of money to shoot, so we must then ask ourselves: Is it nescessary to spend that amount of money or is there some other way to do it? Also: Starting out the film with a battle isn't half as surprising as starting out the film on the English countryside. That being said, the scene itself sounds really good and interesting. And you do make a good point: The PotC films always have a character singing in one of the early scenes. In CotBP the film begins with Elizabeth singing "A Pirate's Life for Me", DMC has Mr. Gibbs singing "Fifteen Men On A Dead Man's Chest" and AWE has Elizabeth singing "Hoist the Colours High". There must be some character or characters singing in either the first or second scene of our movie. Perhaps Jack's crew when they sail up the Thames? Sailors are known to sing while they work. Question though: In all the current films, the song is sung by one of the onscreen characters. Who is the little girl singing in your scene? I am thinking perhaps your scene culd be the opening for the AWE sequel, where the scene could be used to make clear to the audience that even though Beckett was killed in AWE, the battle for the pirates has not been won yet. I think it would serve a much better purpose there.

Personally I vote for using the Commodore's film opening. That sounds just about perfect to me.

As far as my draft is concerned: You don't need to abide to it completely. It's just a very vague temporary outline that can still be modified ad infinitum. So don't hold off from posting something that might conflict with my quick draft. It might be better than what I came up with. After all I did write the thing in about half an hour.. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/whistling.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="whistling.gif" />