Joke thread

[Meigger]

Some snowpeople have no shame. :

 

[Post Captain]

From Sailing, a Lubber's Dictionary:

Sailing - The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while slowly going nowhere at great expense.

 

[Old Salt]

 

[Post Captain]

Here's another:

Bar- Long, low-lying navigational hazard, usually awash, found at river mouths and harbor entrances, where it is composed of sand or mud, and ashore, where it is made of mahogany or some other dark wood. Sailors can be found in large numbers around both.

 

[Meigger]

Excellent. :

 

[Old Salt]

 

[Meigger]

Has not that happend to all of us at one time. However, no antidote needed. :

 

[Old Salt]

 

[Meigger]

Stop teasing the dog.

 

[Grey Roger]

Beware: if the dog can't gets its snacks one way, it will get them some other way...

 

[Meigger]

That looks like a wolf.

 

[Grey Roger]

That looks like a wolf.

Yes, but then a dog is basically a domesticated and genetically modified wolf. It won't stay domesticated if it doesn't get its snacks...

More quotes from Insanity Wolf here.

 

[Meigger]

Are you saying a Chihuahua is a domesticated wolf?

 

[Grey Roger]

Here's how a human explains that chihuahuas are descended from wolves.

Here's how a chihuahua explains it.

 

[Meigger]

I will take your word for it. I am too tired to read anything.

 

[Old Salt]

 

[Meigger]

Save the beer!

 

[will0170]

I wish my toilet would stop running , I really need to go and I can't catch the dam thing .

 

[Meigger]

Excellent.

 

[Kharbydis]

The day after his wife disappeared in a boating accident, an Ocean City man answered his door to find two grim-faced Maryland State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Rice, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Tell me! Did you find her?" Rice shouted.

"We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Rice said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the Assawoman Bay near the Rte 90 Bridge."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Rice. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 huge blue crabs and 6 good-size blue crabs on her."

Stunned, Mr. Rice demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."