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Wacky News Stories

<b><!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Somali women flocking to port in hope of marrying pirates<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>

Former Navy SEAL Kaj Larsen decribes the dificulties in combating pirates off the Somali coast.
Pirates are holding a U.S. captain hostage at sea. The Navy is watching everything that happens. So what is supposed to happen next? And what is driving this problem? We talked to someone who knows a thing or two about the pirates and has experience covering them in Somalia. Kaj Larsen, former U.S. Navy SEAL, spoke to T.J. Holmes on CNN’s American Morning Thursday.

Larsen says the root conditions of poverty, lawlessness and civil war on the ground in Somalia are to blame. The large sums of ransom money being paid out to pirates, he says, is even leading some Somali women to venture to the port town of Bosaso in hopes of marrying these newly-rich men.

T.J. Holmes: We know that piracy pays. What is it that’s going to break this cycle if every time they take a ship, they get paid. Why stop it?

Kaj Larsen: That’s the 50 or $100 million question, which is about the money that the pirates took in last year in ransom. The solution unfortunately is not going to be a military-centric one. Ultimately, you to have to find some way to govern this ungoverned space, this lawless sanctuary that the pirates have in Somalia. That’s really the only long-term solution you’re going to see to this problem.

Holmes: Let’s start with the military solution. Why not send a message?

Larsen: Certainly there would be some deterrent effect. I think in this case, the incentives are so large. The money that they’re making is so extraordinary, especially by Somalia standards, that it would be difficult. However, in this particular situation, the goal is to solve it as quickly and as safely as possible without putting the hostage in jeopardy.

Holmes: There are hopeless, deplorable conditions in Somalia. A life of piracy looks pretty good for some of these young men compared to the conditions in Somalia.

Larsen: You couldn’t have said it better, T.J. I’ve been on the ground in Somalia. One of the interesting demographic things that’s happening right now is that single Somali women are flocking to the port town Bosaso where these pirates come out of in the hopes of marrying a pirate. So you can see that it really is — the root conditions of poverty, lawlessness and civil war on the ground in Somalia are really what are breeding this problem.

Holmes: Is it worth the risk for these companies to continue to go through the Gulf of Aden? Does it cost much to take another route? Is it worth it to take the chance, pay the ransom, and keep moving?

Larsen: So far, that’s been the model. As these attacks increase, we’ve seen six in the last week alone, the cost of doing business in that area is just going to be too high. The insurance companies are going to jack up the rates of insurance. And at some point, they’re not going to be able to continue without taking much more serious security measures or without finding an alternative route.

Holmes: Do you think this situation will begin to draw more attention to what’s happening there off the Horn of Africa and maybe more action will begin to be taken by countries all over the world?

Larsen: I think this is a clarion call to the international community that Somalia is and continues to be a failed state. And that if we don’t continue to pay attention to it, if we don’t start changing the conditions on the ground there, if we don’t start governing that ungoverned space that it’s going to be a breeding ground for piracy and possibly international terrorism. So yes, I would hope that this situation, that the silver lining in the cloud is that people would start paying attention to this horrific situation in the country there.
 
<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/is-youtube-doomed-2009-4" target="_blank">YouTube is Doomed!!</a>

<!--sizeo:2--><span style="font-size:10pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><i>Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" /> </i><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><b>
</b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
 
<b>EA "Accidentally" Ships Illegal Weapons to the Press

</b>What sort of shenanigans have you been up to this time, EA? It seems that during the promotional period for the Godfather II, EA may have sent out brass knuckles to members of the press, somehow forgetting the fact that shipping these is illegal, and illegal in the very state EA is based in.

EA contacted Kotaku, stating that the company is currently asking for all of these back so they can be properly disposed of, but refused to comment further. EA might be in a nice bit of trouble because of this; have a read of the following excerpt from the California (the state where EA is based) Penal Code Section 12020(a):

<i>Manufactures or causes to be manufactured, imports into the state, keeps for sale, or offers or exposes for sale, or who gives , lends, or possesses any cane gun or wallet gun, any undetectable firearm, any firearm which is not immediately recognizable as a firearm, any camouflaging firearm container, any ammunition which contains or consists of any flechette dart, any bullet containing or carrying an explosive agent, any ballistic knife, any multiburst trigger activator, any nunchaku, any short-barreled shotgun, any short-barreled rifle, <b>any metal knuckles</b>, any belt buckle knife, any leaded cane, any zip gun, any shuriken, any unconventional pistol, any lipstick case knife, any cane sword, any shobi-zue, any air gauge knife, any writing pen knife, any metal military practice handgrenade or metal replica handgrenade, or any instrument or weapon of the kind commonly known as a blackjack, slungshot, billy, sandclub, sap, or sandbag.</i>

Adding fuel to the fire, possessing an illegal weapon (such as brass knuckles) is a class 1 misdemeanor. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. Keep an eye out for further information as it is revealed.

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
Seems like Arnie hit them hard. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->VET FINDS A FAMILY'S WASHING IN PET DOG <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--> </b>

Monday April 13,2009
By Dana Gloger

FOR years Nicola Perrett's family couldn't fathom where their missing clothing were going.

But when their golden retriever Bailey had an operation for a suspected tumour all was revealed.

The dog's tummy bulge wasn't a tumour, vet Keith Moore discovered. Instead he pulled out 17 garments, including nine socks, four gloves and a stocking. He described it as "like performing a magic trick."

He said: "We were just pulling out one sock after another." Bailey, seven, had been taken to the vet by Nicola for his annual check-up. When Mr Moore noticed a mass in Bailey's stomach he thought it was cancer and phoned Ms Perrett, 44, with the bad news.

The mother of two cried all morning but was amazed later when the dog was found to be healthy.

Ms Perrett, a customer service manager at B&Q, said Bailey had probably been eating the items for years. Her son Jack, 15, had first noticed that his rubber gloves went missing two years ago. Daughter Laura, 18, also lost various garments to the family pet.

Ms Perrett, from Poole, Dorset, said: "This year Bailey had lost a bit of weight and the vet must have been able to feel a lump. Now he's back to being like a puppy again."


"He is a really mad dog, full of beans and always up to mischief."

Mr Moore, from Corfe Mullen, said: "I doubt I'll ever see anything like this again in my career."

"It is amazing that he was not more unwell or sick but was still eating his food."
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7998931.stm" target="_blank">http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7998931.stm</a>
"An Amazonian ant has dispensed with sex and developed into an all-female species, researchers have found.

The ants reproduce via cloning - the queen ants copy themselves to produce genetically identical daughters."

Could this be a possible future scenario for humanity? Could we also one day dream of living in a "garden of fungus, which also reproduces asexually"?
 
Damned Pigs...

<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->A DAD was hauled out of bed and arrested for having an ornamental PIG in his garden <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->— </b>after his policeman neighbour claimed it was put there to poke fun at him.

INS News

Shocked Robin Demczak, 57, was dragged off to cells and held for more than 6½ hours as the constable’s colleagues grilled him about the porcelain porker.

He was finally freed without charge after explaining the black pig with white spots had been there for eight years — while the officer had only lived next door for FOUR.

Fuming window fitter Robin — who used to have a PIGGERY in his back garden — slammed the swoop yesterday.

He said: “I was in bed and I could hear police cars outside.

“I was thinking, ‘What’s going on?’ Then I was dragged out by police, arrested and chucked in the back of a police car.

“I was held by them for almost seven hours because having the stone pig apparently counted as harassment.” Neighbour PC John Ablett called in his colleagues following a simmering 18-month feud over a footpath that splits his back garden from Robin’s in Witney, Oxfordshire.

The traffic cop insists the former pig farmer has no right to use it.

Robin said: “PC Ablett had me arrested because he didn’t like me keeping my 12-inch porcelain model pig in the back garden.

“He seems to think it is offensive to policemen.”

The dad, who got rid of his hogs years ago and now uses the sty as a shed, told how his neighbour also failed to see the funny side over a sign he painted saying: “No pigs”. He denied it was a dig at the cop.

Robin explained: “When I got rid of all the pigs, I painted a sign saying there weren’t any left in there. That was in case someone was worried about them.”

Although he was freed without charge, Robin was ordered to REMOVE the ornamental pig from the garden of his £200,000 home.

He was also told to STOP calling his outbuilding a sty.

Robin said: “The reason I call it that is because it used to be a piggery — it has still got troughs and slurry dips in the floor.”

Yesterday Thames Valley police confirmed officers were still looking into the complaint made against him.

A force spokesman said: “We can confirm that a man was arrested on suspicion of harassment in relation to the incident.

“He has been released without charge. But the investigation is still ongoing.

"There was an ornament in the garden and also some writing on a wall.” PC Ablett was last night unavailable for comment.
 
<!--quoteo(post=313595:date=Apr 15 2009, 07:19 PM:name=rupertlittlebear)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (rupertlittlebear @ Apr 15 2009, 07:19 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=313595"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->get rid of the statue

raise real pigs instead.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Here's a Tip: Don't Bite Your Own Junk<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>

By JOHN P. WISE
NBCNewYork.com
updated 27 minutes ago


A convicted sex offender from Brooklyn took a bite out of crime and a bite out of himself too, police said.

Damiene Iriarte was found naked and bleeding behind a building in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn after having bitten the tip off his own penis, police told a local newspaper.

It goes without saying that he was subsequently hospitalized.

"How he did it? Limber, I guess. Not the work of a sane mind," a police official told The Daily News.

You think?

Iriarte, 26, pleaded guilty in Suffolk County in 2004 to two misdemeanors after being accused the previous year of raping a 13-year-old girl, according to the News.

It's not clear why Iriarte bit his own penis, but investigators might be just as confused -- or impressed -- that he did it at all.

He's recovering at Brooklyn Hospital Center, representatives of which have not returned calls seeking comment.
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=313772:date=Apr 16 2009, 02:04 PM:name=rupertlittlebear)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (rupertlittlebear @ Apr 16 2009, 02:04 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=313772"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->but the question remains

"Did he Swallow?"<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

One would think that there was some evidence for the police to form this conclusion, stomach pump??
 
Right. I thought that was impossible. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
<b> <!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Force is strong for Jedi police <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
<b>Eight police officers serving with Scotland's largest force listed their official religion as Jedi in voluntary diversity forms, it has emerged.</b>

Strathclyde Police said the officers and two of its civilian staff claimed to follow the faith, which features in the Star Wars movies.

The details were obtained in a Freedom of Information request by Jane's Police Review.

Strathclyde was the only force in the UK to admit it had Jedi officers.

In the Star Wars films, Jedi Knights such as Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda use the Force to battle the evil Darth Vader, who has strayed to the dark side.

Jane's Police Review editor Chris Herbert, who requested the information, said: "The Force appears to be strong in Strathclyde Police with their Jedi police officers and staff.

"Far from living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some members of the noble Jedi order have now chosen Glasgow and its surrounding streets as their home."

<b>Provided voluntarily</b>

A spokeswoman for Strathclyde Police confirmed: "At the time of the request, 10 (eight police officers and two police staff) had recorded their religion as Jedi."

She added that the force monitored "six strands of diversity" - age, disability, gender, race religion and belief, and sexual orientation.

The force said the information was provided voluntarily and securely stored.

About 390,000 people listed their religion as Jedi in the 2001 Census for England and Wales. In Scotland the figure was a reported 14,000.

The Office for National Statistics did not recognise it as a separate category, and incorporated followers of Jedi with atheists.

Last year, brothers Barney and Daniel Jones founded the UK Church of the Jedi - which offered sermons on the Force, light sabre training, and meditation techniques.

Strathclyde Police employs 8,200 police officers and 2,800 civilian staff.


<i>Just so long as they don't go all Han Solo and start stroking their own wookie, it's fine by me. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> </i>
 
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