• New Horizons on Maelstrom
    Maelstrom New Horizons


    Visit our website www.piratehorizons.com to quickly find download links for the newest versions of our New Horizons mods Beyond New Horizons and Maelstrom New Horizons!

Wacky News Stories

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
"Houston, we have a problem. Code Brown. I repeat, CODE BROWN!!" <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Diners can 'have a ball' at testicle festival<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--> </b>

OAKDALE, Calif. -The fundraising idea may seem a little nuts, but Oakdale's annual Testicle Festival is always a big hit. On Monday, volunteers with the town's Rotary Club plan to fry up 400 pounds of the private parts of bulls and serve them to diners who pay $50 apiece for the sit-down meal.

The event, whose proceeds also benefit the Oakland Cowboy Museum, has drawn an average of 450 people and last year raised $28,000.

It's common practice on cattle ranches for young male bovines to be castrated into steers, which after the initial loss, eventually makes them more docile and easier to handle. Fans of the delicacy, also referred to as "mountain oysters," come from around the state.

According to Rotarians, everyone who buys a ticket is guaranteed to "have a ball."
 
Do they really know what they are eating? I remember a Chevy Chase movie where his character broke the record for eating these in a local diner where he just moved and when he learned what they were he spit out the last five he ate and lost the record.
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Cops Bust Stool Fool<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>

Ohio man arrested for drunk driving on a homemade vehicle

MARCH 31--In a law enforcement first, Ohio cops this month arrested a man for drunk driving on a motorized bar stool. That's right, a motorized bar stool, which can be seen below in a police evidence photo. According to cops, Kile Wygle, 28, crashed his bar stool near his Newark home earlier this month and called 911 due to his injuries. When an officer arrived and asked Wygle what happened, he answered, "I wrecked my bar stool."

According to a Newark Police Division report, a copy of which you'll find <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0331091stool2.html" target="_blank">here</a>, Wygle's homemade ride is powered by a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine. Wygle noted that the bar stool could hit nearly 40 miles per hour, but that he was only going 20 when he wiped out late in the afternoon on March 4 (a witness told police that he spotted someone driving a "strange motorized machine" before the crash). A plastered Wygle, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. His bar stool was not impounded.

<img src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a144/b4lazarus/0331091stool1.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Woman to 911: Help! I'm locked inside my car<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>

Amy L. Edwards | Sentinel Staff Writer
9:45 AM EDT, April 1, 2009
<b><i>A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday.</i></b>

A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.

"My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said.

"Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."

The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door.

The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."

<i>....Hmmm, this is troubling...NOT A 4/1/ JOKE...</i>
 
Yikes. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> It's scary to think there's people like that out there. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
Me thinks we are in trouble. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=310318:date=Apr 1 2009, 07:29 PM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Old Salt @ Apr 1 2009, 07:29 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=310318"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Me thinks we are in trouble. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
We had a power outtage during a major snowstorm a few years ago

Our house was the only one with working phones

All our neighbors forgot that they were using powered phones so they couldn't work without power - 90% engineers / aerospace engineers

After detailed explination . . . our neighbors all had working phones too. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Man Coughs Up Nail Stuck In His Nose <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--> </b>

<b>Nail In Man's Nose For Possibly 30 Years</b>

Posted: 12:54 PM Apr 1, 2009 Eric Lupher
Email Address: elupher@kktv.com

Going to the doctor doesn't get any weirder than this.

Prax Sanchez went to a hospital for an MRI. "When I went to lay down on the MRI machine, I had a real pain on my right side under my eye," said Sanchez.

Doctors asked him if he had any kind of metal in his face, perhaps from past procedures, but Sanchez said he wasn't aware of anything. A short time later, Sanchez coughed up the unimaginable, a nail over an inch long.

"I never had any idea there was any metal in my face," said Sanchez.

It turns out, Sanchez had an X-Ray done prior to the MRI. When doctors took another look at those X-Rays, they found that a nail was indeed stuck up his nasal cavity. According to doctors, the magnetic force from the MRI dislodged the nail causing Sanchez to cough it up later.

Sanchez' family doctor, Jamieson Kennedy, determined the nail was up his nose for 30 years. "Once it's in the nasal cavity like that, a little membrane forms around it," said Kennedy

To this day, Sanchez has no idea how that nail made it up his nose.
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blush.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eek:ops" border="0" alt="blush.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Dog overboard found four months later<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>

SYDNEY (AFP) – A pet dog that fell overboard in rough seas off Australia has been reunited with its owners after surviving alone on an island for four months, reports said.

Sophie Tucker, apparently named after a late US entertainer, fell overboard as Jan Griffith and her family sailed through choppy waters off the northeast Queensland coast in November.

The dog was believed to have drowned and Griffith said the family was devastated.

But out of sight of the family, Sophie Tucker was swimming doggedly and finally made it to St Bees Island, five nautical miles away, and began the sort of life popularised by the TV reality show "Survivor."

She was returned to her family last week when Griffith contacted rangers who had captured a dog that had been living off feral goats on the largely uninhabited island, in the faint hope it might be their long-lost pet.

When the Griffiths met the rangers' boat bringing the dog to the mainland they found that it was indeed Sophie Tucker on board.

"We called the dog and she started whimpering and banging the cage and they let her out and she just about flattened us," Griffith told the national AAP news agency.

"She wriggled around like a mad thing."

Griffith said that when the dog was first spotted on the island she had been in poor condition.

"And then all of a sudden she started to look good and it was when the rangers had found baby goat carcasses so she'd started eating baby goats," she said.

Sophie Tucker, a member of the Australian cattle dog breed, had been quick to readjust to the comforts of home, complete with airconditioning, Griffiths said.

"She surprised us all. She was a house dog and look what she's done, she's swum over five nautical miles, she's managed to live off the land all on her own," Griffiths said.

"We wish she could talk, we truly do."
 
She'll probably master talking next. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/me.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":onya" border="0" alt="me.gif" /> Tough dogs.
 
Back
Top