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Pirates of the Caribbean: Community Prequel Script

I'm sorry Mercer, I wrote my last post and had to run out so I didn't get a chance to read it. I promise I'll comment on it later on today. Right now I just don't have the time to do it.
 
At the moment I have no real comments on the script. I'd suggest to just continue. I take it that it is still possible modify things later on in case it proves nescessary?
 
Indeed Pieter. I find it pointless to post for the sole purpose of saying "You may proceed." Sometimes you need to continue to figure out what doesn't fit or needs editing. When writing my books, I've sometimes thought a part was set in stone until fifty pages later... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />
 
Well, obviously nothing is set in stone. You can always think up some other scenario much later that you want to stick in to a scene that we already thought we've moved on from. I think Mercer just wants some feedback so he isn't tripped up later if suddenly someone wants to change something and also so he knows he's not alone in writing these scenes.
I don't know if you saw this or not, Mercer, you didn't comment on it, but I had added some lines into this scene in italics a few pages back. Here is the snippet of script where I added it in. I've also added a bit to some other scenes and put those changes in italics as well.




EXT. EITC WATERFRONT DOCKS - DAY

WENCH IS TIED UP AND GANGWAY IS LOWERED. SPARROW WALKS OFF.
YOU SEE HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH A TIDY EITC UNIFORM ON.
AS HE STEPS OFF THE GANGPLANK MERCER STANDS WITH 10 EITC
GUARDS, BARRING HIS PATH.

MERCER
Curious, I was sure Lord Beckett
ordered the shipment to arrive 2
weeks ago, but you have only just
arrived. <i>Why so late?

JACK
A man is never late, just not early.

MERCER
(Scoffs)</i>


JACK
Oh, I thought my orders said to
have it here two weeks from two
weeks ago.

MERCER
(His set expression doesn't change)

JACK
(Smiling uneasily)
Actually I was stopped by
a...convoy of yours to...inspect
my ship.


MERCER
Were you now.

------------------------------
EDWARDS BOWS HIS HEAD, TURNS AND WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM, GIVING MERCER AN UNEASY LOOK.

<i>I just thought that Edwards should acknowledge in some way Mercer's sudden appearance.</i>
------------------------------

JACK
...Yep, thats how it happened. It's
all a terrible misunderstanding
gents.


MERCER
I'm sure. Lord Beckett still
wishes to see you.


JACK
I'm here aren't I?

<i>MERCER
Never when your expected to be though</i>.

MERCERS PATIENCE AT AN END, HE BRINGS OUT HIS PISTOL
AND NODS TO THE GUARDS WHO SEIZE SPARROW AND CARRY HIM OFF
TO BECKETTS OFFICE.



FADE OUT.

<i>Just added another line for Mercer before he pulls out his pistol.</i>
 
Very good Old Salt, i will modify my script to accomodate that immediately. I did see that you had posted those lines that you liked from my earlier script. Where sparrow walks in and beckett says "Ah, nice of you to show up" "I had a little help" says Sparrow while glancing nervously at Mercer. I will definately include that in the next scene.

Also do you understand and/or agree that i am trying to make Mercer the primary EITC antagonist. Jones is not evil in this movie, and i am trying to save Beckett for DMC and AWE. Just thought you might want to know.
 
I would personally save Jones for DMC and Beckett for AWE. Having Mercer as main antagonist would work. Especially if we keep Beckett locked up in his EITC headquarters for most of the film and have Mercer do the nasty things.

BTW: I read the Commodore's opening to the film again and it seems there is a lot of it missing in the current script. Perhaps we should all read it again and see what more we can salvage. Personally I think the whole opening the Commodore wrote is brilliant and I just really want to see the rest of that story play out. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=217195:date=Oct 9 2007, 07:41 AM:name=Mercer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mercer @ Oct 9 2007, 07:41 AM) [snapback]217195[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Very good Old Salt, i will modify my script to accomodate that immediately. I did see that you had posted those lines that you liked from my earlier script. Where sparrow walks in and beckett says "Ah, nice of you to show up" "I had a little help" says Sparrow while glancing nervously at Mercer. I will definately include that in the next scene.

Also do you understand and/or agree that i am trying to make Mercer the primary EITC antagonist. Jones is not evil in this movie, and i am trying to save Beckett for DMC and AWE. Just thought you might want to know.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Great. I thought that line was a blast. "I had a little help." Like I said, you can see Johnny Depp saying those lines. I have noticed that you have been directing a lot more attention towards Mercer, and like Pieter, I agree that will work. Mercer needs to be introduced in this film and his character filled out so he makes more sense later on.
 
<!--quoteo(post=217209:date=Oct 9 2007, 08:15 AM:name=Pieter Boelen)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pieter Boelen @ Oct 9 2007, 08:15 AM) [snapback]217209[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I would personally save Jones for DMC and Beckett for AWE. Having Mercer as main antagonist would work. Especially if we keep Beckett locked up in his EITC headquarters for most of the film and have Mercer do the nasty things.

BTW: I read the Commodore's opening to the film again and it seems there is a lot of it missing in the current script. Perhaps we should all read it again and see what more we can salvage. Personally I think the whole opening the Commodore wrote is brilliant and I just really want to see the rest of that story play out. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well, we can repost it here in its entirety if you want so we can match both up side by side as it were on the same page.
 
You can repost it if you like, though I don't see the point. We can still find it using the thread index in the first post. And having it on different pages still allows you to open it in two different windows so that you can Alt+Tab between the windows. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" />

In any case: When you re-read the Commodore's opening, you will find that a lot has been left out of the current script, such as the conversation between Jack's crewmembers. It is not an important ommision per se, because the dialog doesn't really relate to the story nor is spoken by any important characters, but I think it might be nice to step down a bit from the modern idea that everything that does not contribute to the main storyline should be cut. Sometimes I find that the addition of unimportant storylines or just unimportant lines of dialog does a film a lot of good, because it gives you more the sense that it is a real world. In the real world, there IS a lot of unimportant dialog and happenings. Should that all be cut for a film?

Personally I think this film should be slightly more old-fashioned and should just take its time a bit more. In many modern films, the pace must be really high and the audience hardly has time to breathe. Also lots of amazing sets and sceneries are hardly shown (example: Shipwreck Cove) in order to proceed with the story. Personally I think one of the main assets of this film should actually be the amazing backgrounds and therefore we should take the time for establishing shots and establishing montages to give the audience both time to breathe, let them know where we are at the moment and simply let them be amazed by the scenery. Beautiful landscapes can be as much a "special effect" as skeleton pirates and ship battles.
 
Agreed. I will have a look over the Commodores script, you guys should too. I will then see what is good escpecially in the beginning, we will all pick what we like, and we will work it into the official script.
 
Well, another reason for minor characters talking is to better set the scene and let the audience in on where and when the film takes place rather than just sticking in a subtitle that says "Spithead, 1765" or something. Also, I feel that Jack's crew should seem a bit more human, not just a bunch of background fillers or fake monsters... they are people, his crew, and I would like to develop them a little bit.

And the idea of sweeping scenery is what I would like... it allows the audience to enjoy the movie, not because its constantly mind-blowing and intense, but because it is so grand and breath-taking. Think of the camera angles and shots in PotC and compare them to M&C. M&C is perhaps what we should shoot for, with a little bit of the "TV commercial" shots used in Titanic. Lots of imagery, texture and flavor should be rich and vibrant. If we were to talk about camera shots... lots of helicopter shots.
 
<!--quoteo(post=217277:date=Oct 9 2007, 04:18 PM:name=Commodore John Paul Jones)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Commodore John Paul Jones @ Oct 9 2007, 04:18 PM) [snapback]217277[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Well, another reason for minor characters talking is to better set the scene and let the audience in on where and when the film takes place rather than just sticking in a subtitle that says "Spithead, 1765" or something. Also, I feel that Jack's crew should seem a bit more human, not just a bunch of background fillers or fake monsters... they are people, his crew, and I would like to develop them a little bit.

And the idea of sweeping scenery is what I would like... it allows the audience to enjoy the movie, not because its constantly mind-blowing and intense, but because it is so grand and breath-taking. Think of the camera angles and shots in PotC and compare them to M&C. M&C is perhaps what we should shoot for, with a little bit of the "TV commercial" shots used in Titanic. Lots of imagery, texture and flavor should be rich and vibrant. If we were to talk about camera shots... lots of helicopter shots.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
That would work. I always dont understand some battle scenes. Like Singapore for instance in AWE, it is so fast paced that i cant even tell what is going on, you know like those dramatized scenes on documentaries that they badly re-enact i feel like i am a drunk man watching them it is so blurry. Lets try to slow down things a bit during any battles. Not too much like in 300 with every stroke of a sword the screen goes into slow motion. Lets try to get it like the Battle for the Dauntless in COBP it was paced excactly how i would like it. This should be taken into account when developing battles.

The scenery idea is great we want then crowd to be in awe rather than have their minds blown to pieces.
 
I have an idea for the camera shots in the sequel:

The sequel's camera shots should be the same as the prequel's to have the aweing effect, but when we get into the climatic battle, they should have a few "war" shots. These would be shot with hand-held slow shutter cameras to make the film have gritty, dull colors and give it a shaky effect. It heightens the intensity of battle and makes it shocking. These shots wouldn't be quick like the "mind blowing" scenes of AWE, but rather as if someone were following the characters or ships with a camera. That way, the shots would be slow-paced and long enough to awe us, yet seem very intense and shocking.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvyIskywST4" target="_blank">Normandy Invasion - Saving Private Ryan ("War" style camera shots.)</a>
 
<!--quoteo(post=217279:date=Oct 9 2007, 07:41 PM:name=Mercer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mercer @ Oct 9 2007, 07:41 PM) [snapback]217279[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->That would work. I always dont understand some battle scenes. Like Singapore for instance in AWE, it is so fast paced that i cant even tell what is going on, you know like those dramatized scenes on documentaries that they badly re-enact i feel like i am a drunk man watching them it is so blurry. Lets try to slow down things a bit during any battles. Not too much like in 300 with every stroke of a sword the screen goes into slow motion. Lets try to get it like the Battle for the Dauntless in COBP it was paced excactly how i would like it. This should be taken into account when developing battles.

The scenery idea is great we want then crowd to be in awe rather than have their minds blown to pieces.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I hate slow motion scenes mostly because they are so overdone. I'm not saying that small touches of it here or there can't be effective, it can, but when you overuse it as many directors do nowadays it just cheapens it. And its not real. These battles didn't slow down when they were being fought. Battles shot in normal time paced action can be very effective, as long as the camera is following the relevant action. That's what made Spielberg's camera work (he filmed with a hand held camera during that scene) in Saving Private Ryan so effective. It wasn't all over the place trying to film everything, he just followed the principal action and everything else was in the background and it worked.
 
<!--quoteo(post=217280:date=Oct 9 2007, 06:12 PM:name=Commodore John Paul Jones)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Commodore John Paul Jones @ Oct 9 2007, 06:12 PM) [snapback]217280[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I have an idea for the camera shots in the sequel:

The sequel's camera shots should be the same as the prequel's to have the aweing effect, but when we get into the climatic battle, they should have a few "war" shots. These would be shot with hand-held slow shutter cameras to make the film have gritty, dull colors and give it a shaky effect. It heightens the intensity of battle and makes it shocking. These shots wouldn't be quick like the "mind blowing" scenes of AWE, but rather as if someone were following the characters or ships with a camera. That way, the shots would be slow-paced and long enough to awe us, yet seem very intense and shocking.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvyIskywST4" target="_blank">Normandy Invasion - Saving Private Ryan ("War" style camera shots.)</a><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yes! YES! YES! That is the exact example that i was talking about. Perfect it is not so fast paced that i cant tell who's where. And yes that shacky part is nice that would work great say, oh, if the retreating dutch fleet from batavia bombards the advancing EITC troops. Yes Spielberg did well to use that type of shot there. Perfect.
 
I dont know if i told you guys, but i am a skilled pianist, and i was just experementing on my digital piano which can transponse keys, or change the signature. If you have never played an instrument you wouldnt understand. The point being that Davy Jones music box, organ tune, and full orchestra from track 3 on AWE soundtrack are all played in D sharp now to make it a bit more saddened i transponsed it to B flat and an idea popped into my head. During the sea battle when the Dutchman turns back to take on all remaining ships by herself we should play his music box tune on violins very low and sad. You will witness it from a beautiful bunch of helicopter shots. The scene will play at normal time no slo-mo, but there will be no sounds of battle, just the low tune. Then when it is done his music box takes over in the same key (B flat) when that ends so does our little sortie with the Dutchman. Then the camera switches to the Pearl, and we see the battle from about 3 miles away ( in the background of the scene). Then NO MORE DUTCHMAN.

That is just something i thought of it doesnt matter if you like it or not, i just want to put it out there. It is not making is TOO over dramatic, but it adds to the drama of the scene. Then in the later movies like DMC where there is not a lot of Dutchman vs. other ship action that could ba explained because if you watch it in chronological order we will have seen the Dutchman in her glory, and we will know all that she can do.
 
I think that would be a very powerful image, with just music playing during the final moments of the sea battle. I've seen that same technique used in other movies, most notably Titanic, when the ship is finally breaking apart at the end and its just the music you hear playing as the tragic events unfold on the screen. I found that very stirring.
 
<!--quoteo(post=217340:date=Oct 10 2007, 07:12 PM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Old Salt @ Oct 10 2007, 07:12 PM) [snapback]217340[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I think that would be a very powerful image, with just music playing during the final moments of the sea battle. I've seen that same technique used in other movies, most notably Titanic, when the ship is finally breaking apart at the end and its just the music you hear playing as the tragic events unfold on the screen. I found that very stirring.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yes thats what i am aiming for. When the Dutchman turns around, the bow chaser gunports will drop down as the music is playing, and the triple chasers will open fire. This shot will take place a quarter ways off the starboard bow. Then the Dutchman will be seen from up in the air also a quarter ways off the bow like the black pearl in DMC when Sparrow says he could in fact perform a "marri-a-ge" right there. She will be firing off broadsides. We will show a little bit on the decks of the EITC ships with splinters and cannons being blown everywhere, crew flying off the deck. Then the camera will pan around the stern of the dutchman as she turns to the port to rake the Dauntless, which we show from the amazing angle of just about 12 feet above the deck, and about 5 feet from it to see the shot just screaming down the deck, and busting any standing object to pieces. Then when the music box tune is almost over a frigate will explode. Then when it ends the screen fades quickly, then fades in on the Pearl with Jack looking at the unfolding spectacle through his spyglass.

Now its either the sad tune playing, no battle sounds. Or a tune quite like the one in the AWE soundtrack #3 at about 5:12 seconds the full brass, cymbols, and string orchestra to make is more grand. Both are great pieces of music to use, it just depends on how we want to set the attitude of the battle. Show the Dutchmans awesome might in a Grand Spectacle with heavy brass playing, or show some sadness to see all of the poor sailors being wounded and killed by the dutchmans awesome might. That is for you to decide. I am torn between the two types of music.

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/william.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":will" border="0" alt="william.gif" /> Has everyone listened to Track 3 on the AWE Soundtrack? If you havent you MUST, to understand where i am going with this. Fast forward to 4:00 minutes and listen. You will hear the music box with a sad organ accompanyment (which i have learned) then at about 5:12 the heavy brass will start it is AMAZING. And fun to play on the piano.
 
<!--quoteo(post=217346:date=Oct 10 2007, 11:16 PM:name=Mercer)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mercer @ Oct 10 2007, 11:16 PM) [snapback]217346[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/william.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":will" border="0" alt="william.gif" /> Has everyone listened to Track 3 on the AWE Soundtrack? If you havent you MUST, to understand where i am going with this. Fast forward to 4:00 minutes and listen. You will hear the music box with a sad organ accompanyment (which i have learned) then at about 5:12 the heavy brass will start it is AMAZING. And fun to play on the piano.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I'm sorry to say I don't have the soundtrack to the movie but I will have to buy it so I can capture this scene properly in my mind the way your describing it.
 
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