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Corrupt a Wish

*If you want something done properly... Kill Baldrick first*

And my wish is, that I had a really nice-tasting, big cake.
 
Granted: The best chef in the world prepares a huge cake that tastes better than any other in the world. Unfortunately because its so good you can't stop eating it and because it is so large you rapidly gain weight until, alas, you explode just as you shoving the last piece into your mouth. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />

I wish dreams could come true. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
Granted: Your first wish is to be the world's richest person, and you are promptly squished by a giant coin that falls from the sky. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

I wish farts didn't smell.
 
granted:

you get suffocated in the next closed space. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

i wish my pistol hadn't spontaniously fallen apart. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
But what is your wish? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="icon_wink.gif" />
 
and what's the point? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> now it's broken i can't do anything against the natives anyway. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />
 
Granted: You wake up tomorrow to find you can't see outside, since your house is buried under a mountain of games. After playing through roughly a quarter of them, you run out of food and starve <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> .

I wish the forum didn't load so slowly <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" /> .
 
no. bad wish. undo that wish. you do not know your peril! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=274358:date=Aug 20 2008, 12:30 PM:name=Stallion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Stallion @ Aug 20 2008, 12:30 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=274358"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Granted: You wake up tomorrow to find you can't see outside, since your house is buried under a mountain of games. After playing through roughly a quarter of them, you run out of food and starve <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> .

I wish the forum didn't load so slowly <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" /> .<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Granted: The forum begins loading faster, unfortunately though its now much to fast for your computer to handle and it promptly overheats and blows up in your face before you can escape from your chair and evacuate the room. The computer blowing up and pulling pieces of glass out of your face from the monitor aren't your only problems, however, since the exposion has caused a power surge to go from the outlet your computer was plugged into to the rest of the house, causing massive wiring failure and fires to spark to life in every corner of your abode.
The next morning, as you stand outside outside the burnt shell of what had been the structure you lived in just a few hours before, you start to realize that maybe the forum loading up so slowly wasn't really all that much of a problem after all in the bigger scheme of things. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />



I wish I could go back to the time of the golden age of pirating and sail with Blackbeard, arrrr. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/pirate3.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p2" border="0" alt="pirate3.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blink:" border="0" alt="blink.gif" /> ......alrighty then! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Granted: You build and enter your time machine, but are dropped in front of Blackbeard's ship, and promptly get run over. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />

I wish people in public washrooms didn't insist on breaking the sound barrier with every fart. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
Granted: No more loud thunderous farts in the public restrooms will ever violate your eardrums again, however, though, the farting has not stopped. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/no.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":no" border="0" alt="no.gif" /> Now that mother nature's warning siren has been silenced these fat bastards can let go at will in the middle of their dumps without fear that their loud blasts will cause hurtful comments to be sent in their direction as they percolate in their stalls.
As a result, the bathroom may be so full of methan <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sick.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eww" border="0" alt="sick.gif" /> by the time you enter it that soon after the door swings shut you will be out cold on your feet, overcome by the stench and falling face forward to the ground, where the impact with the floor will shatter your front teeth (your mouth was wide open because you were reflexively gasping for breath before you fell unconscious) and the small spark that this causes willl ignite the methane and result in a 2000 megaton blast that will be felt as far away as South America. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />



I wish that money grew on the trees in my yard. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Granted: Your trees become the talk of the town, and you must resort to killing everybody, even the flyer kid, to protect your treasures. You never leave home again for fear of your trees being emptied or stolen, and live out the rest of your days as a bitter, paranoid, homicidal old fart.

I wish turds were edible. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=274533:date=Aug 22 2008, 12:32 AM:name=Stallion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Stallion @ Aug 22 2008, 12:32 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=274533"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->trees being emptied<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Trees being emptied? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

<!--quoteo(post=274533:date=Aug 22 2008, 12:32 AM:name=Stallion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Stallion @ Aug 22 2008, 12:32 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=274533"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->live out the rest of your days as a bitter, paranoid, homicidal old fart.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
That sounds like me now. That's not so bad. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

<!--quoteo(post=274533:date=Aug 22 2008, 12:32 AM:name=Stallion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Stallion @ Aug 22 2008, 12:32 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=274533"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->I wish turds were edible. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Granted: Turds are edible <img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/thbarfing.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" /> but only you know it. So when that guy with an upset stomach from overeating saw you reaching into the toilets in the restaraunt's restroom and eating till your heart's content it was understandable that you were soon covered in puke. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sick.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eww" border="0" alt="sick.gif" />


I wish I could have anything I wished for.
 
I meant trees being emptied of money, you twat! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

Granted: You receive everything you've ever wanted, but lead a life of unhappiness, having never worked for anything you've got. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

I wish PC games didn't cost so bloody much.
 
I know what you meant, it sounded funny the way it was put! <img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/thangry-30.png" border="0" class="linked-image" />

Granted: They don't cost so much anymore! <img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/thangry-30.png" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Was that a wish? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />
 
Old Salt wishes he had a smile like that <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/happy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="^_^" border="0" alt="happy.gif" />
 
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