• New Horizons on Maelstrom
    Maelstrom New Horizons


    Visit our website www.piratehorizons.com to quickly find download links for the newest versions of our New Horizons mods Beyond New Horizons and Maelstrom New Horizons!

WRITE WHAT YOU WANT

*******

*****e*

**s*t*g

g
n
i
t
s
e
t

gnitset

testing

testing

There, I think that's got it. Communicator now adjusted for transmissions from Aisle i.

This place is weird. Being Aisle i, which is sqrt(-1), dimensions are screwed up here. What is time in our normal universe is height here, and what is depth in our normal universe is time. This means you can see yourself inside out and spread into the distance, and you drift gradually up. Getting back is tricky. The portal exists unchanged for the forseeable future, which means it is effectively a vertical plane, but to get back to the here and now you have to touch it at exactly the right place.

The other problem is that there are creatures here which can literally come up beside you and eat your face from the inside. Fortunately, any of them which make it to our universe are just as disoriented as I was when I first got here. However, they have had time to practice while I was busy with Aisle 4... These may be the creatures you are warding off with Spam. If you eat Spam, it is inside your face, which means any creature that tries to eat your face from the inside has to eat the Spam first, and it seems they don't like that.
 
I was trapped in aisle 6 with an evil panda, thank god ernie finally killed that thing...
 
Those are the inside face eaters. They only exist in stretched time so need to worry about them coming through the space/time rip. If they did they would fragment apart as the physical laws they obey are not present here. We are safe, except of course if time stretches beyond the rift, then the face eaters can presumably occupy our space. Aisle 1 caos still is present near the inner circle of fault.
 
Are you sure about that salt? It seems as if our new panda enemies have finally found a way to exist in our world, and we are in big trouble. Just check out this footage Ernie captured. WHAT CAN WE DO?! They are on the rampage!! :shock

angrypandasmash.gif


tumblr_laytqliTph1qe5opjo1_500.gif


tumblr_kxkuotqnwo1qzpwi0o1_r2_500.gif


tumblr_lick3a54OS1qgs2w9.gif
 
Take note of the second bit of footage, which was recorded at around 26:89 zm in aisle 1.
 
They don't like Apple computers, which is fine by me. The second bit of footage is presumably their retaliation against the Spam bombardment. It's the third clip which worries me; the pandas appear to be preparing for some sort of joint venture with My Little Pony.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXoYK4b_q24[/youtube]

The key to defeating the pandas may lie in the way dimensions work differently in our universe compared to their native Aisle i. What is time for them is depth to us, which means if you open a can of Spam and put it in front of a panda, it is inevitably destined to run into the Spam. If you get it just right, the Spam will effectively materialise inside the panda's face. But you have to place the Spam exactly correctly otherwise the panda will see it and jump over it. This is rather easy for creatures to whom a vertical leap is effectively sideways movement and which perfected the time warp weeks ago, or in their terms, about 5 miles back.
 
@Jonty - I don't think that's a real panda. A real panda would have knocked the monitor off the table first since its well known that pandas hate computer monitors. Also this appears to be a rather old clip as the computer looks to be pretty ancient, so even if it were a panda attack it happened long ago. I think we are okay in this regard. :yes That second panda was fired from that store so he is not a problem. :yes :yes And somebody obviously glued that third panda to the "my little pony" so he won't be a problem. :yes :yes :yes

If this happens to be not the case than I concur with Grey Roger. :warr
 
What these old clips were trying to convey was that the pandas have been in our world under our very nose.
 
Old Salt said:
We should also round up Stallion, just to be safe....
Click to expand...
On the contrary, Stallion is our secret weapon against the ponies. He can infiltrate them and find out what they're up to. We just need to spray him pink and glue fairy wings onto him.

Talking of secret weapons, we still have the priest with the llama head. We pointed him at a panda, he said "Wololo", and this is the result:
5669639049_ca7a5e8d27_z.jpg

The pandas have been conducting their own experiments:
1009508_o.gif
 
Stallion may be a "secret weapon" but he is an unstable one. Anything we have him do for us will most likely backfire and blow up in our face.
 
What the hell were we talking about here?


#41 Old Salt

Asylum escapee

Posted 01 August 2007 - 08:59 PM
But what if the person your confuzzling to gets confused and can't decipher what your confuzzling about and breaks off all contact as a result? Wouldn't you then have regretted confuzzling and confusing in the first place?


#42 Meigger

1000th Member Man

Posted 01 August 2007 - 11:29 PM
If the person is confused then they need to study the language of confuzzling in order to decipher what had been said. I would think there intellect would take it as a challenge to transulate what seems to be gibberish into morology.


#43 Old Salt

Asylum escapee

Posted 02 August 2007 - 12:14 AM
The danger is most people wouldn't know that they are being bombarded with gibberish and would misinterpret it as an attack on their intelligence and abandon conversation altogether without ever learning the fine art of translating gibberish into morology.


#44 Morgan Terror

magnificent bastard

Posted 02 August 2007 - 04:47 AM
the wierdest thing is that this looks like a philosophical conversation.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top