• New Horizons on Maelstrom
    Maelstrom New Horizons


    Visit our website www.piratehorizons.com to quickly find download links for the newest versions of our New Horizons mods Beyond New Horizons and Maelstrom New Horizons!

Wacky News Stories

Might have looked like this:

<img src="http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/4643/roastingstick4eo.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=291113:date=Dec 3 2008, 05:40 AM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Old Salt @ Dec 3 2008, 05:40 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=291113"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/hot-pie.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Wtf?... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> What ass decides to have sex with PIE!? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

@Lazarus: <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=291195:date=Dec 3 2008, 05:18 PM:name=Lazarus)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Lazarus @ Dec 3 2008, 05:18 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=291195"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Might have looked like this:

<img src="http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/4643/roastingstick4eo.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=291195:date=Dec 4 2008, 12:18 AM:name=Lazarus)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Lazarus @ Dec 4 2008, 12:18 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=291195"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Might have looked like this:

<img src="http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/4643/roastingstick4eo.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

To wiener cooker: You could just replace it. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<b><!--sizeo:2--><span style="font-size:10pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->New Firefox extension turns Amazon.com into illegal free-for-all:<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
<a href="http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10112541-2.html" target="_blank">http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10112541-2.html</a>

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" />
 
Splendid! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> That just took a large dump on the against-piracy freaks faces! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Yeah take that you money eating bastards! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/bush_dragged_behind" target="_blank"><i>Peeling the Onion</i></a>

<b>Bush Dragged Behind Presidential Motorcade For 26 Blocks</b>
December 4, 2008 | Issue 44:49

KANSAS CITY, MO: President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being accidentally dragged behind the presidential motorcade for a period of 15 minutes. According to Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, Bush's necktie became caught in the trunk of the motorcade's second vehicle at 4:13 p.m., shortly before the driver accelerated. The president was dragged down 175th Street for 26 blocks and through four stoplights, leaving a trail of blood more than a mile long. Upon hearing shouts emanating from behind his vehicle, the driver abruptly applied the brakes, causing the third car in the motorcade to run over the president's left leg at a speed of approximately 25 miles per hour. President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.
 
Reminds me of the dog that was dragged behind Chevy Chase's station wagon in the movie "Vacation." The cop pulls them over and drags Chase to the back of the station wagon and shows him the empty leash and says that the dog probably kept up with him for a mile or so.
 
Good point. They leave that to your imagination. Though the cop said he would go back and pick up the rest of the caracas off of the road. Imogene Coca called Chase a "dog killer" for the rest of the film.
 
<!--quoteo(post=291317:date=Dec 5 2008, 01:32 AM:name=Lazarus)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Lazarus @ Dec 5 2008, 01:32 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=291317"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/bush_dragged_behind" target="_blank"><i>Peeling the Onion</i></a>

<b>Bush Dragged Behind Presidential Motorcade For 26 Blocks</b>
December 4, 2008 | Issue 44:49

KANSAS CITY, MO: President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being accidentally dragged behind the presidential motorcade for a period of 15 minutes. According to Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, Bush's necktie became caught in the trunk of the motorcade's second vehicle at 4:13 p.m., shortly before the driver accelerated. The president was dragged down 175th Street for 26 blocks and through four stoplights, leaving a trail of blood more than a mile long. Upon hearing shouts emanating from behind his vehicle, the driver abruptly applied the brakes, causing the third car in the motorcade to run over the president's left leg at a speed of approximately 25 miles per hour. President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Take that you power-hungry bastard! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
How about sticking to real wacky news stories instead of ones made up by people with political agendas? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" /> Real life stupidity is so much more entertaining! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbs1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":2up" border="0" alt="thumbs1.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo(post=291395:date=Dec 5 2008, 12:38 PM:name=Thagarr)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Thagarr @ Dec 5 2008, 12:38 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=291395"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->How about sticking to real wacky news stories instead of ones made up by people with political agendas? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shrug" border="0" alt="dunno.gif" /> Real life stupidity is so much more entertaining! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbs1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":2up" border="0" alt="thumbs1.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
@Thagarr <i>I think "Wacky News Stories" covers a wide range of material. Satire is one of my favorite forms of humor, and I dont think that story has a hidden political agenda, it was just pretty damn funny IMHO.</i>

<b>Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch</b>

ST PETERSBURG - A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.

St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.

The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.

The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.

Police refused to comment.

The St Petersburg Emergency Services Ministry said a private rescue service removed the man's body.

Video on the television channel's website showed emergency workers sawing away the side panels of a couch to remove a man in his underwear lying headfirst between the cushions.

Emergency workers said the man died instantly.
 
Lazarus, it's definitely not a hidden political agenda, they are pretty up front about what they are trying to do. The Onion have made up several stories about Bush recently. All of them portraying him as a bumbling moron ....not that he needs any help. My point is that I don't care to read something that was designed by political spin artists to make a particular person look inept and foolish simply to satisfy their own political agendas. We all know he doesn't need help doing that at all. Quite simply, I am sick of politics! Human stupidity doesn't need embellishing ...we do a pretty damn good job all on our own!
 
That's exactly what satire is though. You either appreciate it or you don't, but its there nonetheless.
 
Doesn't matter to me what goes in here, real or fake. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/no.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":no" border="0" alt="no.gif" />

We could make a note, such as putting the word FAKE in bold at the start of the article, to let everyone know what's real and what isn't. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />
 
<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->ALLENTOWN, Pa. - December 5, 2008 - -- A woman is suing a Pennsylvania sports bar and restaurant, saying she got stuck inside a toilet bowl for 20 minutes after the seat broke.

Kathleen Hewko of Delran Township, N.J., says she was in the bathroom at Starters Pub near Allentown when the handicapped toilet seat she was sitting on cracked and dumped her into the bowl.

Hewko says in her lawsuit filed in federal court in November that she had hip surgery prior to the Nov. 19, 2006, incident and was re-injured when the seat broke.

The lawsuit names Starters and Kohler Co., the company that made the toilet seat.

Representatives from both companies said they couldn't comment.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top