• New Horizons on Maelstrom
    Maelstrom New Horizons


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Random Talk

i'm trying and failing not to burst out laughing at the image. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/happy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="^_^" border="0" alt="happy.gif" />
 
*the bandana is ripped from Salty's hands, and he plummets to the ground, landing ass-first on a cactus* *the sound he utters after meeting up with the cactus is something undeniably inhuman* <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
there just HAD to be a cactus there. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

chances are he'll return in a while and won't even notice what happened. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
*Salty starts attacking the cactus, only to discover doing so causes more pain* *a charter bus pulls up a short distance away, and disgorges the Japanese tourists who, armed with fresh bundles of film, begin snapping away* *Salty, enraged at their reappearance, mauls the one nearest him* *the other tourists back away, and resume taking pictures* <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
*starts pulling funny faces at the camera's, standing in the background* <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/razz.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":razz" border="0" alt="razz.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

*the Japanese turn their attention towards Morgan, and Salty disappears into the desert*
 
<img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/icq-yell.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

*Salty begins turning into a tomato, the reason for this unknown*
 
A tomato? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />  That thing with the really big eyeball has two leafy things stickin' out of its head, and it's orange/red, so...

*the Japanese tourists start clubbing Morgan with their Polaroids, as he apparently offended them in some way* *one of the tourists swipes Morgan's hat and runs off with it*
 
Tourists? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blink:" border="0" alt="blink.gif" />

Those aren't tomato leaves, there pieces of hair. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />  You didn't read back in the thread, did you? That's okay - I hope you don't  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />

Pieces of hair?  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" /> Ooooookay then!  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

*Salty stumbles into a giant termite nest, and promptly suffers the loss of yet another wooden leg - he is chased away by two rather large axe-swinging ants* *Morgan has fled onto the bus, kicked out the driver, and roared off into the desert, the vehicle's licence plate having been photographed roughly 3,000 times* *one of the Japanese tourists makes a collect call to Godzilla in a conveniently-located phone*  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blink:" border="0" alt="blink.gif" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />

*Salty, having been bitten, flamed, exploded, thrown, and photographed, stumbles into an abandoned military base*  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />

*meanwhile, Morgan is careening across the desert in the opposite direction, thinking he's finally lost the pesky tourists - he fails to notice something rather big in the distance moving to intercept him*

*Stallion continues recording all of this from his safe location high in the Goodyear Blimp, and can't help but laugh*  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
Salty, flamed and pissed, cannot help but wonder how a horse managed to escape all of this caos and float above the carnage in a Good Year blimp. Searching around for what he hoped would be a handy weapon laying nearby that would perhaps bring Stallion closer to the action on the ground, he spots what appears to be a slingshot (probably discarded by some troublemaker who walked around at night shooting out streetlights) laying on the ground and he grabs it and smiles devishly up at the blimp. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":yes" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />
 
Good! Somebody else is finally getting into this!  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="xD:" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />

*Stallion watches a small speck come towards the blimp, fly past the windows, then punch a big hole in the air holding doohickey thingy  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" /> - the blimp plummets to the ground*  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />

*meanwhile, Morgan's bus is broadsided by a gnarly claw and knocked on its side*  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":shock" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" />

*the tourists, not knowing which party to follow, elect to head towards the wreakage of the blimp - they flag down an old Winnebago, club the driver to death with their cameras, and take off in the blimp's direction*  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />
 
The camera beaten driver starts attracting buzzards as the bloodthirsty trourists make their way toward the fallen blimp with the strange looking horse stuck in the canvas. Salty stumbles towards the blimp as well, angry and hurt, but he doesn't make it far as the buzzards flying around the dead driver now sense that there is new food that will soon be keeling over and they start racing towards Salty, hoping to grab a tasty morsel as they figure he will be dropping dead pretty soon. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ko.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":ko" border="0" alt="ko.gif" />
 
Stallion, coming to and hearing the tourists' jabbering as they exit the Winnebago, readies the ass-cannon.  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":woot" border="0" alt="w00t.gif" />

Salty, unsure of which foot to put in front of the other, keels over in the dust - he is quickly surrounded by yabbering vultures.  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":?" border="0" alt="unsure.gif" />

In the distance, a bouncing red blob which is growing in size materializes into a running, flaming Morgan, who is being pursued by a giant lizard. He is occasionally blasted by a jet of fire from the monster's mouth, hence the flaming.  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen1.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":cheeky" border="0" alt="icon_mrgreen1.gif" />
 
Salty moans as the vultures start pecking at him with a growing frequency. He realizes that he is far to hurt to defend himself from these little bastards but does possess one tool in his arsenol that he was hoping that he would never have to use on another living thing. Taking a deep breath and thanking God that he ate those corn tacos several hours ago, he let loose with what can only be described as a watery air release that quickly gave way to a stench not known on this planet since the first puddle of ooze collected itself on the still cooling continents of Earth and signaled that life had taken root some three billion years ago. Luckily no living thing was around to confront the smell eminating from that blob, but these vultures were not so lucky. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sick.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eww" border="0" alt="sick.gif" /> They began dropping and gasping for air where they were perched, and quickly died as the foul smelling toxic cloud quickly overcame its originator and began moving north toward the fallen blimp and the trapped horse. <img src="http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x172/oldsalt_bucket/emoticons/thbarfing.gif" border="0" class="linked-image" />
 
<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl" border="0" alt="24.gif" />

Stallion, tangled in crap from the blimp's interior, can only watch helplessly as the cloud comes towards him.

Morgan, believing his about to witness his end, pulls one final brave act by mooning the lizard. Any living thing facing his backside is instantly blinded. The Japanese tourists, who were watching through their cameras, are met with an even worse fate. The cameras, somehow sensing what was about to happen, decide the safest place to be is up their owner's rectum - and so begins an event neither man nor Polaroid will ever forget.  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sick.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eww" border="0" alt="sick.gif" />
 
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