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Wacky News Stories

xD: Beats a lemonade stand all to hell. :yes On the other hand, those are usually legal.

Archaeologists in Sweden believe they may have uncovered the oldest dildo in the world - a four-inch-long phallus carved out of a stag's antler.

The bone phallus, unearthed by archeologists earlier this month, was found in mud on the banks of the Göta Canal near Motala in Sweden's Östergötland province, and is thought to between 6,000 and 8,000 years old.

'At first I thought it was just an antler that had been worked on and I was going to take a closer look at it. But when I held it up I wasn’t able to stop laughing,' wrote Sara Gummesson, who discovered the putative dildo, on the team's blog.

The phallus, which measures about 11cm (just over 4 inches) long and around 2cm (just under an inch) wide, may have been used as a sex aid, the team have speculated - noting that while female sexual imagery is common among Stone Age finds, male fertility symbols are rare.

Swedish Heritage Board archeologist Goran Gruber trod a carefully non-commital dildo line, telling Swedish radio: 'We do think it’s at least some sort of phallus, but I couldn’t say for sure what it was actually used for.'

And commenting on his Aardvachaeology blog, Swedish archaeologist Dr. Martin Rundkvist noted that 'there are many non-dildoish uses for which it may have been intended,' but added that 'without doubt anyone alive at the time of its making would have seen the penile similarities just as easily as we do today.'

If it was indeed used as a sex toy, it has strong competition for the title of the world's oldest - with a stone phallus unearthed in Ulm, Germany in 2005 dating back at least 28,000 years.

While scientists from the University of Tubingen who studied the Ulm phallus remain unsure what it was used for - starting fires and sharpening flint tools have been suggested as non-rude uses - its lifelike size has raised the possibility that it was used as a sex aid.
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Yes, there were pictures. No, I ain't linking to them. And no, I ain't linking to the site. xD:
 
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Country's oldest mail carrier retires at 91

At 91 years old, the country's oldest mail carrier is finally hanging up his keys after driving more than 1.1 million miles delivering mail in Tennessee. According to the U.S. Postal Service, rural carrier Mancel Prince will make one more lap of his nearly 100-mile route before he retires on Friday in Decherd.

Prince was born in Tennessee and served in World War II, the Korean War and in Vietnam before retiring as a command sergeant major after 34 years. He returned home after his military career and began working as a mail carrier.

He earned a Million-Mile Safe Driving award for 35 years of accident-free driving.
 
A hen in China appears to be suffering from some kind of identity crisis, apparently believing that it's a penguin.

Awkwardly described as a 'peng-hen', the hen doesn't walk like a normal chicken - instead, it waddles upright with its wings tucked behind its back.The hen's owner, fisherman Liu Yong, says that the hen 'walked in a weird way from its childhood', marching around upright rather than scratching on the ground and roosting on a perch at night.

The identity crisis sadly means that the hen is rather lonely - Liu says that 'other chickens must think she is a freak, as no one will get close to her.'

'In the night all the chickens will fly up to the roof of the chicken house, leaving only her on the ground,' he adds.

Fans of chicken/penguin crossovers will, of course, recognise the scenario as an inversion of the Wallace & Gromit film The Wrong Trousers, which features as its villain a penguin who disguises himself as a chicken.

penghen.jpg


I still say it looks more like a leftover from the Third Reich. xD:
 
Police: Wendy's robber complains about skimpy haul

A man walked up to the drive-through window of an Atlanta Wendy's late Saturday night, wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He demanded the cash drawer, grabbed it and ran away.

But police say he later called the fast food restaurant to complain about the amount of cash.

Police say in one call he said that "next time there better be more than $586."

He called again with a similar complaint.
 
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/08/03/4807400-dog-chews-off-owners-toe-and-may-have-saved-his-life?gt1=43001

Dog chews off owner's toe -- and may have saved his life

Melissa Dahl writes: We've done stories before on dogs sniffing out diseases their owners didn't even know they had. Now a little terrier named Kiko has one-upped all of them: He went ahead and performed surgery. Kind of.

According to a bizarre story reported in The Grand Rapids Press, Kiko smelled an infection in his owner's right big toe and set about "amputating" it. Which in doggie terms, of course, means he ate it. All the while, Kiko's owner, Jerry Douthett of Rockford, Mich., lay passed-out drunk in his bed. (We told you it was bizarre.)
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Next we'll hear about a pit-bull and the "kiss of life" :ixi
 
rupertlittlebear said:
Dog chews off owner's toe -- and may have saved his life

Melissa Dahl writes: We've done stories before on dogs sniffing out diseases their owners didn't even know they had. Now a little terrier named Kiko has one-upped all of them: He went ahead and performed surgery. Kind of.

According to a bizarre story reported in The Grand Rapids Press, Kiko smelled an infection in his owner's right big toe and set about "amputating" it. Which in doggie terms, of course, means he ate it. All the while, Kiko's owner, Jerry Douthett of Rockford, Mich., lay passed-out drunk in his bed. (We told you it was bizarre.)
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In the version I read, before the operation Mr. Douthett asked a nurse "Is there any chance I can get what's left of my toe, so I can give it to Kiko as a treat?". The nurse apparently said "That's the sickest thing I ever heard". :eww
 
Neighbour accused of 'green rage'

A man became so enraged at his neighbour for not sorting her recycling properly, he began throwing pop cans at her, Victoria, B.C. police say. Officers were called to a home Tuesday afternoon, the police reported on their operations blog Saturday, after a man confronted a woman who lives in his building. Police said the man was aggressive and swore at her, then began throwing pop cans at her as the woman took her garbage out to the curb.

"Officers learned that the man was (obviously) quite upset because the woman had not sorted her own pop cans into the recycling bin," the police said on their blog.

The woman was not injured and did not want to pursue charges against the man.

Police said the building manager told them the man "has been very unpleasant to deal with" in the past.
 
Fargo man sentenced in feces assault on police

A Fargo man who tried to kick his own feces at police officers who responded to a party at his home was sentenced to serve a year in jail. Dennis Fike, 66. also must complete alcohol treatment or he might face another year in jail.

Fike was accused of defecating on a rug and attempting to kick feces at the officers last Aug. 28. His attorney argued that a handcuffed Fike had asked to use the bathroom and been denied. Fike was convicted in June of attempting to contact a law enforcement official by bodily fluids or excrement and preventing arrest.
 
Irate flight attendant grabs beer, slides away

It has been a long time since flight attendant was a glamorous job. The hours are long. The flights are no-frills. Babies scream. Airlines demand lightning-quick turnarounds. Everyone, it seems, is in a bad mood.

On Monday, a JetBlue attendant named Steven Slater snapped on the tarmac of Kennedy International Airport, authorities said.

After a dispute with a passenger who stood to fetch his luggage too soon on a full flight just in from Pittsburgh, Slater, a career flight attendant, had had enough.

He got on the intercom, let loose a string of invective, pulled the lever that activates the emergency-evacuation chute and slid down, making a dramatic exit not only from the plane but also, one imagines, from his airline career.

On his way out the door, he paused to grab a beer from the beverage cart. Then he ran to the employee parking lot and drove off, the authorities said.

He was arrested at his home in Queens, a few miles from the airport, and charged with felony counts of criminal mischief and reckless endangerment.

In a statement, JetBlue said it was working with the Federal Aviation Administration and the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey to investigate the episode.

"At no time was the security or safety of our customers or crew members at risk," the company said.

According to his online profiles, Slater has been the leader of JetBlue's uniform redesign committee and a member of the airline's in-flight values committee. Neighbors in Thousand Oaks (Ventura County), where Slater grew up, said he had recently been caring for his dying mother, a retired flight attendant, and had done the same for his father, a pilot.

The contretemps Monday unfolded as JetBlue Flight 1052, an Embraer 190, landed at Kennedy around noon - on time - and pulled up to the gate, said a law enforcement official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the investigation was continuing.

The official offered the following account:

One passenger got out of his seat to retrieve his belongings from the overhead compartment before the crew had given permission. Slater instructed the man to remain seated. The passenger defied him. Slater reached the passenger just as he pulled down his luggage, which struck Slater on the head.

Slater asked for an apology. The passenger instead cursed at him. Slater got on the plane's public address system and cursed out the passenger for all to hear. After citing his 20 years in the airline industry, he blurted out, "That's enough." He then activated the inflatable evacuation slide at a service exit and left the world of flight attending behind.
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Original story here :
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/08/10/MNVV1ERJ9R.DTL
 
Give me my McNuggets, byotch!

A security video from a McDonald's in Ohio shows a woman punching two restaurant employees and smashing a drive-thru window because she couldn't get Chicken McNuggets. The tantrum caught on tape in Toledo earlier this year shows the customer reaching through the drive-thru window, slugging one worker and then another. She then grabs a bottle out of her car and tosses it through the glass window before speeding off. It happened early on New Year's Day. Police say Melodi Dushane was angry that McNuggets weren't being served, because it was breakfast time.

Dushane says she was drunk at the time. She was sentenced to 60 days in jail last month and ordered to pay McDonald's for the broken window.

The video was released Monday when it became public record.

 
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