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Corrupt a Wish

Granted. The invasion is successful, welcome to Planet of the Apes.

I'm stuck outside an aeroplane whose door has just closed. I wish I had a crowbar.
 
Grey Roger said:
Granted. The invasion is successful, welcome to Planet of the Apes.

I'm stuck outside an aeroplane whose door has just closed. I wish I had a crowbar.
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Granted, but crows have no hands and they don't like ethanol that much, so you go out of business (lame wordplay I know).
I wish I had a tree that grows a different type of food (all gourmet with exquisite cooking, materials and preparation) every day.
 
Granted. I grow and command a dust bunny army. It forces the door on that aeroplane and I'm finally aboard.

I wish I could bring all that alcohol aboard as well.
 
Granted but KABOOOOOOOOOOOM! Looks like we're going to have to glue you back together!
I wish it were legal to walk around naked.
 
Granted but everyone just starts their own blog instead and forces you to read it.

I must be the only person who spends almost of his free time on his PC but still doesn't have facebook or twitter.

I wish that I had a decent bicycle.
 
You're not the only one - although, thanks to being at a few parties, a pic of me has found its way onto Facebook. :urgh

Granted, but the wheels mysteriously vanish.

I wish they'd make another Jonah Hex movie. :cheeky
 
Granted, but it's politically correct. He's black, gay, and an advocate of gun control, and has handed in all his own weapons as an example.

OK, my plane has exploded and apparently there's a talking horse somewhere around here, now very drunk. I wish the horse had a parachute so I could steal it.
 
Granted, but after you strap it on and jump out of the plane, you promptly pull the cord, only to have it come off in your hands. :shock

I wish people would actually wish you "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays".
 
Granted, but new songs quit coming out because the RIAA doesn't like not getting money anymore. xD:

I wish Santa would be classified as a pedo. :woot I mean, it's obvious that's what he is - creepy old guy that breaks into houses and leaves gifts for little kids. ;)
 
Granted, but now it won't fit in its slot. :woot

I wish every movie made before 1990 became Public Domain. :yes
 
Granted. 24 hours later, YouTube explodes; 24 hours after that, the internet is flooded with old black and white movies.

The ripcord on my parachute has broken. I wish there is something really soft where I land.
 
Granted, despite the fact that such a thing is totally bizarre. xD:

I wish Christmas shoppers weren't so anal. :woot
 
Granted, despite the fact that such a thing is totally bizarre.
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http://www.theonion....a-cactus,18127/

Granted but your shopping experience is now much. much less interesting.
I wish Genn Bleck would shut up.
 
Granted. Genn Bleck shuts up due to becoming a cactus. So does Barack Obama. The new cacti are immediately bought in large quantities by Christmas shoppers. Two months later everyone becomes a cactus, and the invasion of the body snatchers is complete.

I wish I had some weedkiller.
 
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