Wacky News Stories

[Stallion]

<!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>Ottawa police nab suspect in manhole cover thefts </b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
Fri Jul 4, 12:19 PM


By The Canadian Press
OTTAWA - Police have nabbed a suspect in the thefts of 25 manhole covers in one area of the capital city. 

Tim Argiropoulos, 42, of Ottawa faces several charges related to the disappearances of manhole covers from suburban Elmvale Acres. But the police investigation continues - about 150 manhole covers and sewer grates have disappeared from around the city in the last month, including more than 70 since Monday. 

Officials say the 27-to 59-kilogram steel plates, which cost about $100 apiece, have been targeted by thieves since the price of steel has soared. 
Police have issued warnings to motorists, pedestrians and cyclists to watch out for holes in the street; so far they know of no one who's fallen into one. 


Argiropoulos faces charges of theft over $5,000, possession of property obtained by crime over $5,000, and mischief endangering life. 
He is to appear in court Aug. 11.

 

[Stallion]

<b><!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Dutch police fine 10-year-old truck driver <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
Fri Jul 4, 11:00 AM

THE HAGUE (AFP) - A 10-year-old boy was given a fine for driving a large delivery truck on a public road in the Netherlands, police said Friday.

"Two officers on patrol saw the truck driving on a parallel road, and noticed that the driver clearly wasn't 18," Tessel Horsman, a police spokeswoman in The Hague, told AFP.

"They pulled the truck over to check the identity of the driver, and discovered it was a 10-year-old boy."

It transpired the child was driving the truck, "a large one", on a public road in the southern town of Honselersdijk, with his father shouting instructions from the road.

"The fine was issued to the boy officially, but since he is under-aged his father will probably pay it," said Horsman.

 

[Stallion]

<b><!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Romanian doctor fined for accidentally severing a man's penis <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
Fri Jul 4, 8:35 AM
By The Associated Press

BUCHAREST, Romania - A court has ordered a Romanian surgeon to pay $795,000 in compensation to a patient whose penis he accidentally severed during an operation.

In July 2004, Dr. Naum Ciomu made a surgical error while operating on the man's testicles, severing the penis instead of making an incision to the testicle.

The Bucharest Magistrates Court ruled that Ciomu had been "superficial" in his approach to the operation, ordered the fine and handed Ciomu a one-year suspended prison sentence.

The ruling can be appealed. 

A piece of muscle from the man's arm has now been attached to where his penis was, but its function is aesthetic.

The victim's lawyer said you don't have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim isn't in a good state of mind.

 

[Stallion]

<b>Cremated remains will be part of fireworks show in Indianapolis </b>
Thu Jul 3, 6:11 PM
By The Associated Press

INDIANAPOLIS - One of the fireworks bursting above Indianapolis for tonight's 4th of July show will include the cremated remains of Meredith Smith. He ran the annual event for 40 years before dying earlier this year.

About a half-teaspoon of his ashes will be in a fireworks shell that will create a white burst in the sky for the finale of the show. 

Kevin Moss says he can't think of a better to way to honour his friend.

There'll also be hundreds of T-shirts referring to the tribute as the "the last shot." 

Smith, a school maintenance worker, was a trained pyrotechnician.
His widow says they started the fireworks as a community service and sometimes paid for the shows themselves.



Way cool  <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />

 

[Stallion]

WEEK OF JULY 6, 2008
China continues to prepare for the Olympics: Officials have issued a standard chanting routine that all Chinese spectators should employ during competitions (translated as "Olympics! Add fuel!" with two claps and then both thumbs up, then "China! Add fuel!" with two more claps and raised fists, according to a June Reuters dispatch). ("Add fuel" is apparently a traditional motivational chant in China.) [Reuters, 6-5-08]

Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors. [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-3-08]

 

[Stallion]

<b>Questionable Judgments</b>

A bus service that shuttles gamblers from Colorado Springs to nearby mountain-town casinos has been awarded $382,000 in Homeland Security anti-terrorism grants, according to a May report by the Colorado Springs Gazette. Federal officials said the grants were part of the Infrastructure Protection Activities program, with the money used for "vehicle security," GPS systems and training drivers, which means, according to a bus company official, teaching them "to be aware of their surroundings, of what's unusual and the people on board." [Colorado Springs Gazette, 5-23-08]



Officials in Chongqing, China, abruptly shut down the lifestyle magazine New Travel Weekly in May after it published a photo spread of sexy women in lingerie posing in the rubble at one of the country's recent earthquake sites. The editorial staff was fired and the company ordered into "rectification," which is apparently the process of self-examination of what in the world the company might have been thinking. [The Australian (Sydney), 5-23-08]

You've Been Left Behind LLC has begun offering an e-mail service to Christians who are preparing for the Rapture (in which all "true" Christians ascend to heaven to meet the Lord). Since the Rapture may commence suddenly, those chosen may have to depart without saying goodbye to their less worthy friends and besides will leave their property behind during the ensuing seven years before Armageddon. For $40 a year, Christians can maintain an e-mail list of up to 62 people who would be notified and can store encrypted electronic documents, such as PIN numbers and powers of attorney. "There won't be any bodies," the Web site warns, pointing out an advantage of its service, "so probate court (would) take (all) seven years (just) to clear your assets to your next of kin." [Wired.com, 6-3-08]

 

[Stallion]

<b>People With Issues</b>

Since 2004 the Palmerton Area (Pa.) School Board has paid $45,000 for the special education of Rebecca Maykish, 17, who has an apparently devastating fear of "school," dating back to fourth grade. The mere act of spending time in a classroom, her mother says, causes her to cry nonstop for hours. The board, acknowledging her "generalized anxiety disorder," agreed to accommodate her illness by specially funding things broadly educational or therapeutic, and so far that includes not only tutors and software but modeling classes and travel, to build her self-esteem. The Morning Call of Allentown reported in May that, with the board's funds depleted, and Rebecca's continuing to drop out shortly after each school year begins, the government has begun to impose truancy fines on her mother. [Morning Call, 5-18-08]

 

[Stallion]

<b>Least Competent People</b>

Not Ready for Prime Time: Police quickly made an arrest in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) in May after a Pepsi machine was stolen from a liquor store; the distinct dolly tracks led from the store to the man's home, and besides, he had left the machine in his front yard. [Arizona Republic-AP, 5-30-08] 

The armed robber of a Fifth Third Bank in Orlando, Fla., is still at large, but based on the surveillance video, a sheriff's detective said the man was "probably not familiar with handguns" because he appeared to be pointing his at himself during the robbery. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-2-08]

Dentist Who Hates It When That Happens: Anne Greer filed a lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient's throat, which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the following year to give Meyers another chance (against his daughter's wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that ultimately proved fatal. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-22-08]

 

[Old Salt]

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>Doctor Accused of Stealing Cadaver Hand</b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

The Associated Press reported that Dr. Ahmed Rashed, who graduated from the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, had been charged with stealing a hand from a cadaver <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="ohmy.gif" /> and giving it to an exotic dancer. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sick.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eww" border="0" alt="sick.gif" /> Reports indicate that the dancer, Ms. Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom, along with six human skulls.<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":wacko:" border="0" alt="wacko.gif" /> Friends of Ms. Kay told investigators that she had named the hand Freddy. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Dr. Rashed, who pleaded not guilty to the charges, faces up to ten years in prison if convicted. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/pirate3.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="2" border="0" alt="pirate3.gif" />

 

[Stallion]

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Sounds like a doc to avoid.


<b>Man nabbed after calling cops on stolen cell phone</b>
By Associated Press9:12 PM EDT, July 3, 2008 DULUTH, Minn. - A Duluth man is under arrest after he called police on a cell phone from a purse he had just allegedly snatched. Police arrested the 29-year-old man on Wednesday.

They said he approached a woman at a pool hall shortly after midnight and asked for a cigarette, then grabbed the purse as she was opening it and ran off.

Less than 90 minutes later, the suspect called police on the woman's cell phone to say he had been jumped. Police Sgt. Don Boso said it appeared to the arresting officer that the man had not been jumped but rather was intoxicated and wanted a ride home.

The woman identified the suspect as the person who stole her purse.


The man is facing theft charges in St. Louis County.

 

[Stallion]

<!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>Man found in WI basement covered in BBQ sauce</b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

July 3, 2008 - 7:44AM APPLETON, Wisc. (NEWSCHANNEL 3) - A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce.

"He told the officers that it was urban camouflage," said the homeowner.

This happened in Wisconsin.

The homeowners say they woke up to whistling sounds.

The husband grabbed his shotgun and headed toward the basement where he found the sauced-up intruder.

He held him at gunpoint until police arrived.

The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.

He now faces burglary charges.

 

[Stallion]

<b> Police nab two cannabis growers in cemetery </b>
<a href="http://" target="_blank"></a> Module body

<i>Mon Jul 7, 1:30 PM</i>



HANOI (Reuters) - Police have detained two custodians who were about to harvest their first crop of cannabis, a source of drugs like hashish and marijuana, from a cemetery in Vietnam's capital, a state-run newspaper reported on Monday. Police took in Nguyen Manh Hung, 44, who heads the caretaker team at the cemetery in Hanoi's outer district of Hoang Mai, and Ho A Lau, 46, after the authorities found cannabis plants grown on a 25 square meter (82 square feet) patch, the Vietnam Labour Confederation-run Lao Dong newspaper said.

Lau, a tribal man from the northern mountainous province of Son La bordering Laos, testified he obtained the seeds in Son La for cultivation from early 2008 and that the harvest would soon start.

Vietnam has strict drug trafficking laws, including in some cases the death penalty, but it has long been used as a transit point for trade in heroin, hashish, opium, amphetamine pills and other illegal drugs.

 

[Stallion]

<b> Swiss court rules on noisy chicken </b>


<i>Fri Jul 4, 1:50 PM</i>

GENEVA (AFP) - A Swiss court has ordered that a chicken be locked up in a soundproof box every night so its neighbours can get a good night's sleep, the ATS news agency reported Friday.

The court at Ticino in southern Switzerland even stipulated that the box, in which the chicken must be kept from 10:00 pm to 7:00 am, should be at least eight centimetres (three inches) thick and insulated with glass wool.

The decision ends a five-year battle between the authorities in the village of Sant'Antonio and the chicken's owner.

The authorities, alerted by complaints from neighbours, earlier ordered that the bird be put in a henhouse at night. The measure, however, was found to be pointless.

 

[Stallion]

<!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>LEESBURG, Ga. — A Georgia teen is facing child cruelty charges after an online video showed a young man launching a baby several feet across a room using an inflatable pillow.</b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

The video posted on YouTube shows the boy putting a baby on one side of a large yellow pillow and then jumping on the pillow, sending the child flying several feet across the floor, where the baby lands and cries.

"He really had no explanation — just thought it would be funny to put it on YouTube," Col. Duane Sepp of the Lee County Sheriff's Office told FOX News. "It's all about, I guess, that five seconds of glory or whatever, and it's terrible it has to happen at the cost of an 8-month-old child."

The 16-year-old Lee County boy was arrested Tuesday after a school teacher saw the video and called the sheriff's office. The boy's name was not released because of his age.

"This is going to be handled in juvenile court, although this has some detention time that can be placed on the juvenile offender," Sepp said. "The judge, I'm sure, is going to take this very seriously, and when the tape is shown I don't think it's going to be as funny as what he [the offender] originally thought it was."




Flying Baby Syndrome, anyone? <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> This world is so f*cked up <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/yes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="yes.gif" />

 

[Old Salt]

<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>FedEx Sends Marijuana To Wrong Address </b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

(BALTIMORE) - A man was arrested in Baltimore after a drugs delivery was shipped to the wrong address!

30-year-old Richard Gwatidzo was arrested after the normally reliable FedEx delivered 200 pounds of Marijuana to the wrong resident.

After the police had been tipped off, they then posed as FedEx employees and arrested Mr. Gwatidzo before charging him with possession of a large quantity of a controlled dangerous substance with intent to distribute, as well as other drug related offences.

Eight additional boxes containing almost 400 pounds of the drug were also seized by police.

The originator of the shipment used FedEx to send the drugs from Pembroke Pines, Florida, to Mr. Gwatidzo in Baltimore using FedEx to ensure safe and prompt delivery!

The senders identity is yet to be determined.

 

[Stallion]

<b><!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Truck rams Concorde, knocks off its nose in NYC<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
1 day ago

NEW YORK (AP) — An embarrassed museum official says a two-week nose job should reverse the damage a Concorde supersonic jet suffered when a truck rammed it.

The retired Concorde is normally on display at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum. It has been at a recreational facility in Brooklyn while the USS Intrepid and its home pier in Manhattan are repaired and renovated.

Early July 1, a truck hauling equipment away from a Jamaican soccer-and-cricket festival bumped into the Concorde's distinctive nose and knocked it off. Museum President Bill White says the cone is salvageable and will be reattached and repaired to original standards.

White is apologizing to British Airways, which owns the jet. He says the recreational facility should have provided better security for the plane.

 

[Cylon13]

<!--quoteo(post=267469:date=Jul 7 2008, 06:15 AM:name=Stallion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Stallion @ Jul 7 2008, 06:15 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=267469"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><b><!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Romanian doctor fined for accidentally severing a man's penis <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
Fri Jul 4, 8:35 AM
By The Associated Press

BUCHAREST, Romania - A court has ordered a Romanian surgeon to pay $795,000 in compensation to a patient whose penis he accidentally severed during an operation.

In July 2004, Dr. Naum Ciomu made a surgical error while operating on the man's testicles, severing the penis instead of making an incision to the testicle.

The Bucharest Magistrates Court ruled that Ciomu had been "superficial" in his approach to the operation, ordered the fine and handed Ciomu a one-year suspended prison sentence.

The ruling can be appealed.

A piece of muscle from the man's arm has now been attached to where his penis was, but its function is aesthetic.

The victim's lawyer said you don't have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim isn't in a good state of mind.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

This is really.. disturbing. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piratesing.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="piratesing.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sick.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":eww" border="0" alt="sick.gif" />

 

[Stallion]

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" /> Very.


<b><!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->US rebate cheques spent on porn<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></b>
5 July 2008 06:30AM

<b>President Bush's economic stimulus plan which involved sending cheques of up to US$1,200 to every taxpayer has provided a boom to the online porn industry, according to market research..</b>

The Adult Internet Market Research Company (AIMRCo) identified an " uncharacteristic" increase in spending on online pornography since the cheques were sent out.

Kirk Mishkin, head research consultant at AIMRCo, said: "Typically the summer is a slow period for this market.

"But many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20 to 30 per cent growth in membership rates since mid-May when the cheques were sent out."

The rebates were supposed to stimulate to the flagging US consumer sector, but it seems that many people are using them for a different kind of stimulation.

Jillian Fox, a spokeswoman for LSGmodels.com, one of the sites reporting figures to AIMRCo, said: "In a June 2008 survey of our members, 32 per cent referenced the recent stimulus package as part of their decision to either become a new member, or renew an existing membership.

"Getting more people to buy porn was probably the last thing Bush had on his mind when he came up with his 'stimulus package'. But we'll take it."

 

[Old Salt]

That's where my check went. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":" border="0" alt="laugh.gif" />


<!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><b>Police Rescue Woman From 30-Hour Chat Ordeal </b><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

(GERMANY) - A desperate woman in Germany called the police to rescue her from her friend who had chatted for 30 hours and would not leave! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="ohmy.gif" />

48-year-old Ingrid Schuettler from the city of Speyer in western Germany explained to police that she had invited her friend for a chat and a cup of tea. But her friend then started rambling on about personal problems and would not stop talking all through the night and into the next day. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":blink:" border="0" alt="blink.gif" />

After repeated attempts to encourage her friend to leave and an amazing 30 hours of non-stop chatter Ms Schuettler decided to call the emergency hotline and request an ambulance for her guest. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/slap.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":slap" border="0" alt="slap.gif" />

But when the paramedics arrived they refused to carry her friend out of the apartment, so Ms Schuettler was forced to call the police. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/guns.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":2guns" border="0" alt="guns.gif" />

The police then arrived, picked up her friend and drove her home. It is understood she will not be facing any criminal charges. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/no.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="no.gif" />

Sometimes it’s nice to be able to invite a friend round for a nice cup of tea and a chat, and another chat, and another, and another. What are friends for but to sit and chat, and chat, and chat! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="24.gif" />

 

[Cylon13]

<!--quoteo(post=267959:date=Jul 10 2008, 04:01 AM:name=Old Salt)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Old Salt @ Jul 10 2008, 04:01 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=267959"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->What are friends for but to sit and chat, and chat, and chat! <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="24.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

'Till death. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ko.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="ko.gif" />

<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/24.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="24.gif" />