But it was just me by myself. I had nobody share to share the experience with.
And I felt devastated. So devastated that I never tried something like that again.
Imagine climbing a real mountain. An exhausting path.
And climbing it with a team of like-minded people.
Would it still be as exhausting?
I don't believe so.
Sometimes when we are with others, we focus too much on others to appreciate what life has to give us. You might miss the whole view. Being alone, just as being with others, is something to be grateful for -- to learn to appreciate fully.
In our hearts we are all social creatures -- yes, even autistic people -- but that social life doesn't exist only with people, and doesn't need to be ever-present. As living creatures, we are infinitely adaptible, versatile.
Sometimes all it takes is a change of mind, a fresh start -- leaving behind the thoughts and pre-conceptions we have accumulated, and being in the moment, appreciating every breath we still have to take.
I've recently experienced great difficulty with breathing, breathlessness -- as my lungs are slowly collapsing -- and the one thing I took out of that experience was how grateful I am to be able to breathe again! I had always taken breathing for granted -- no big deal. But it is a big deal! It's a wonderfully big deal! To breathe clean and fresh air is an amazing experience of life to be grateful for and to enjoy!
Human society and us in our living conventions often forget that life doesn't adhere to human concepts -- that living is not something people have made.
Whether you are all alone, in bad company, or in good company, there is always something there that makes living worthwhile. The trick is finding it, and sticking with it, so that you can see past the confusion and to the clarity of life itself. This is often referred to in spiritual terms as an an intuitive "awakening", or at it's highest "enlightenment".
In the mere act of living there is great meaning -- we just need to move away from imbalanced human conventions to learn to see and recognise it, so that we may appreciate it fully.
Unless subjected to great personal loss and trauma, most people do not experience this awakening until their dying day. And that is truly sad. They live missing out on life altogether.
You asked what reaching that top accomplishes. It allows you to shed all your pre-conceptions and to experience each moment for all its worth, to see the world, life, through different eyes. It allows you to live free and live to the fullest, according to your innate, connected nature (the natural balance).
Even when you think you are alone, you are not really alone. There is life all around you that you are inseparably connected with, that you are sharing your experiences with. Living beings great and small.
And the hard journey you have to take to reach that summit allows you to shed/grow, to sense, to experience, and to learn, and it makes the journey rewarding. Meaning in our struggles is just as important as in our joys.
Your ultimate reward is life itself. (Though this is something hard to put in words -- one needs to experience it. Even early on in your journey, you may get glimpses of it. In your case, sailing gave you that experience. There is a way to live like that -- just like the free experience you get when you are sailing.)
When you are ready, and you begin to open up to life again, you will attract other people to you who are more balanced than those you have been in the company of before -- living creatures in people who seek the natural balance, if my wording doesn't sound too weird and makes sense.
Unconditional love, an open and balanced heart, has a way of naturally connecting with others, as well as with all of the living world around you.
