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Captain Python's Table

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<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topics for `3-26`-04</span>

1)The Funny Pages

Do you know who this man is?:

its6.jpg

It is the "It's" man from Monty Python's Flying Circus. I thought he should be recognized here.

2)The Aluminum Beer Can
You might be a redneck if your kids’ favorite bedtime story is “Curious George and the High Voltage Fence.”

3)The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts
Yo' mama so dumb, she waited at a STOP sign until it said GO!

4)The War Cry
Today, I was playing socker, and the game was getting intense. So there was this one guy on the other sde who had the ball, so I ran toward him yelling my head off, scaring him half to death. My side was able to get the ball, score a goal, and tie the score, 4 to 4. I did this several times, and after the game was done, people from both teams said I freaked them out.
I got the idea from History. Think about it, the Confederates, Native Americans, Barbarians, just about any fighting force had it's own war cry. It is really effective.

5)Ship Questions
I am putting together my own private collection of Ship information on ship during the 1600s, and I stumbled over the Billander. When was it first really used alot?
there will be more questions.
 
I hate soccer, or as the Europeans call it football. God Bless a country that can invent a sport then steal the name from another sport. :D:
 
It does look like some pretty good enthuiastic sites, its too bad its unfinshed. ;)
 
Haha few years back at school a kid did the ol' glad wrap over the toilet seat trick, that april fools trick got real nasty real quick.
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topics for `3-30`-03</span>

1)The Aluminum Beer Can
Today I have a special edition of "The Aluminum Beer Can", Wisconsin Jokes:
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events. (including weddings)
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Iowa.
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday
27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
29. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.

Second half of the jokes will come later

2)The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts
Yo' mama so ugly that when she was a kid they fed her with a slingshot

3)The Funny Pages
I would like to honour a funny man, Red Skelton:

rs.jpg

`17-4510`.jpg

`red-skelton`-3.jpg


4)Going Crazy
This week has been a hard week with finals for the 3rd term for school. But have you ever been thinking so much that you litteraly go nuts? Last night I was just running all over the place, scarrered brain, just plain nuts. Of course we all get that way, but if you have ever run around in circles on your feet and on your side... Of course a game of soccer helps, just go nuts on the other players.

5)What the 1600s Really were in terms of Ships
I have been doing research on ships, and I have came to a conclusion, the games POTC and SD1 are very unhistorical as in ships. Most of the ships used in those games would not come into major use until the second half of the 1600s and the 1700s. To me it seems that the 1600s was a time when ships went from the fat, slave powerd, and slow to ships that were fast, armed well, sail powered, and look more like the ships that we think of being used during the Napoleonic wars. I think that POTBS will be the most historically accurate game ever created. Here is a rough timeline of when particular ship types were used (it might not be perfect, and if you can proove something is wrong, please have a link to were it says different):

<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Timeline of Ships</span>

Barque (Bark): In the 1600s applied to small ships. In the 1700s, applied to small ships with 3 masts.
Billander: Created in the early 1700s, was used primarily by the Dutch.
Brig: 1600s to 1800s
Brigantine: 1600s to 1800s
Caravel: 1400s to 1700s
Corvette: 1600s to 1800s
Cutter: Late 1600s to 1800s
Fleut: 1600s to 1800s
Frigate: Late 1600s to 1800s
Galleon: 1500s to 1700s
Ketch: Mid 1600s to 1800s
Lugger: Mid 1700s to 1800s
Pink: 1600s to 1800s
Pinnace: 1600s to 1800s
Schooner: 1750s to 1900s
Sloop of War: Used in the 1700s limitedly, and increased in use until 1800s
Snow: 1600s to 1800s
 
wow never hear of a "Sloop of war" before, you know what was special about it?
 
You might know the Sloop of War better as a Naval Sloop. It basically means a sloop specifically used and or build just for Military Naval use. If you go to the Ship Logs on POTBS, you will see it.
 
One of the funniest things I ever saw Red do was pantomime his wife putting on a pair of pantyhose. :cheeky

And it shocks me to find out I might just be a Wisconsinite! (HA!) So many of those are so very true... 8)
 
<span style='`font-size`:25pt;`line-height`:100%'>Topics for `4-1`-04</span>

Today there are alot of topics, I hope to get a lot of conversation going today.

1)Happy April Fools Day
It's the end of the day, and I have to say today was fun. I can boast that not one person nailed me today, but I nailed quite a few myslef. Did anyone make any good "hits" today?

2)Kev044's New Table
I would like to say that Kev044's new table is a excellent new edition to the tavern, and that due to it's rules and what it is meant for, It will not be any competition to my table, unless these quotes are opened up to debate and discusion.

3)Goodbye Ludicrous
I warned you Ludicrous, and I am going to carry out my warning, you are to be removed from the honor role of the Table. To be on the honor role, you must be able to post at least two topics that are around `2-3` sentences long and intelligent.

4)The Aluminum Beer Can
Here is the second part of the Jeff Foxworthy view on people of Wisconsin, ...you might live in Wisconsin

-If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the
food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.
-If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you might live in Wisconsin.
-If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.
-If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of `sky-blue` waters, ....you might live in Wisconsin.

5)The Jokester's Fake Can of Peanuts
A blind man goes into a bar and asks the man next to him, "Hey, do you want to hear a blond joke?" the man next to him says, "Hey, I'm a blond, the guy next to me is a blond and a profesional Wrestler, the Cop in the corner is a blond, and the two other guys at the bar are blonds. You still want to tell that blond joke?" The blind man replies, "I guess not, I don't want to have to explain the joke 5 times."

6)The Funny Pages
Today, I would Like to Honour Laurel and Hardy. One of the first comedy teams.

laurel&hardy_1757.jpg


7)Opinions of the Table/Clear the Table?
My table has been around for a while now. I have posted many topics, and much conversation has been thrown around. Do you think this table is a good topic? What is your favorite part about it? What don't you like about it that can be changed? Is the table getting too big with pages? I am thinking of maybe we should make a second thread with all the topics I have written on it, and we can start growing it again. We could of course close this one, and keep it around so people would not loose thier posts. Do you guys (Especially the moderators) think it's a good idea?
 
<!--`QuoteBegin-Captain_Python`+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Captain_Python)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin-->7) Opinions of the Table/Clear the Table?[/quote]

I like it, for the most part there is usually something I can discuss, although you have kinda lost me with the yo mama insults and the redneck jokes (except for the Wisconsonite stuff which struck so close to home that I hadda laugh). But others have enjoyed those sections, so let's just say that my idea of a joke is different from yours, and no problem! :cheers

I don't mind the length of pages, however if you were to start another topic and lock and unsticky this one I suppose that would be okay. Eventually, it would end up disappearing at the bottom of the last page of postings on the BP. But don't put ALL the old topics up again - we've pretty much discussed them as much as we're going to, correct?

<!--`QuoteBegin-Captain_Python`+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Captain_Python)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin-->-If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of `sky-blue` waters, ....you might live in Wisconsin.[/quote]

You might also live in Illinois - Hamm's Beer has sponsored many a Blackhawk hockey game... Since I've been away from Illinois for so long, I've often wondered about that bear - every time I see the Blackhawks play hockey! :p:

I still own a Blackhawks hockey away jersey (the red one) and if I have occasion to go to a hockey game here (Kings or Ice Dogs) I usually and quite proudly wear it. :p:
 
1) Happy April Fools Day  
Click to expand...

i called my dad up at his friends house and told him that the house burned down!! i tell ya mates, i should be an actor!!!! hahah he TOTALLY believed me!

3) Goodbye Ludicrous  
Click to expand...

what happened? did he get totally kicked off the forum and all? if not, what did he get kicked off of? whats the honor roll? lol
 
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